15 things I learned after living in China for two years

Masha Pipenko, originally from Ulyanovsk, who lives in the Chinese city of Hangzhou, writes: "I had love at first sight with China. After two years of passionate romance, when you see only positive qualities in the object of adoration, our relationship has become more like a marriage. We've gotten used to each other, come to terms with our shortcomings and exist very comfortably together. I will tell you about some of the features of my beloved country."

The concept of "one's own" for the Chinese is decisive in relation to a person. If you are a fellow countryman, a friend of a friend, and even more so a relative — no matter what distance — you can expect special treatment. If you are "your own", then they trust you, they give you the best price, they will always help you, but, of course, they expect the same from you in return. China is a society based on mutual favors. It works better here than money.

In a conversation with the Chinese, context is very important. "Yes" sounds rare here, and "no" sounds even rarer. If you are told "maybe", then depending on the situation it may mean "yes", that is, "I will try very hard, but only heaven knows if it will work out." "No" — "I definitely can't, I just don't want to offend you by refusing" or "maybe", "I would like to do it, but I'm not sure if it will work." Such a multiplicity of meanings leads Western Europeans into a state of constant stress, but for people who grew up in Russia, which, whatever one may say, is still Asia, becomes easier after a while. Well, at least for me personally. (Although overlays still happen.)

According to my observations, all Chinese people have a rare ability to sleep anytime and anywhere, completely ignoring the noise or light around them. It feels like they have an "off" button. By the way, almost everyone practices daytime afternoon sleep, with the exception of residents of large cities. For example, in the small town where I lived, from 12:00 to 14:00, almost all shops and certainly all government institutions close, where the lunch break lasts from 11:30 to 14:30: an hour to eat and two hours to sleep.

There is no such thing as "Chinese cuisine" in China. There are very specific regional traditions. Depending on where in China you are, different products, different spices and different cooking methods will be used. Sichuan Province is famous for its spicy dishes, the north for dumplings, the city of Wuhan for noodles with peanut sauce and spicy duck necks, etc. Culinary tourism is one of the most common leisure activities among the Chinese. Regional cuisine is as much a tourist attraction as mountains, temples and museums. When I asked what we would do in Chengdu, a city famous for its huge nature reserve and panda breeding center, my Chinese friends looked at me in amazement and said, "How what? There is!"

The most common medicine of traditional Chinese medicine is hot water. It doesn't matter if you have a cold, if your stomach or head hurts, you will definitely be advised to drink more hot water. Everyone drinks hot water here, regardless of whether they are sick or healthy. Large titans with boiling water can be found in all public places — from airports and railway stations to parks. Therefore, public free toilets are here at every step, including in the subway.

On Chinese trains, underwear does not change with each new passenger. If, say, you sat down at an intermediate station, and not at the final station, then the best you can count on is a bed that has been tidied up a little by the conductor. But it is completely unknown how many people slept on this very bed before you.

In Chinese restaurants, dishes are often served packed in plastic wrap — it all looks very hygienic. But Chinese friends, before they start eating, always rinse this "clean dishes" with boiled water (which is immediately served to you).

Diapers for babies are a sign of a very big city. In all other places, Chinese kids wear pants with a slit on the ass (in any weather) and, if necessary, send their natural needs to the side on the sidewalk, naturally, under the strict supervision of their parents.

Describing the appearance, the Chinese disassemble the face into its component parts. They say, "You're beautiful because you have big eyes / a high nose (high bridge of the nose) / a small mouth / white skin." An old Chinese proverb says: "White skin erases three deformities." Local young ladies (and often young people) make incredible efforts to whiten their skin, and in every possible way avoid exposure to the sun. To do this, they wear umbrellas on a sunny day, wear caps with a dark glass mask in the manner of a welder and constantly use bleaching creams. The idea that somewhere there are people who specifically spend time and money to make the skin darker seems absurd to the Chinese. As you understand, there are no tanning salons in China.

Relationships are always started with the idea of marriage. For the vast majority of Chinese, family and children are the main goal in life. Chinese men are incredibly caring and very fond of children. A crowd of twenty—year-olds clutching babies is a completely ordinary sight here. As my Chinese friend says, a Chinese boyfriend is expected to clean the room, cook food and peel the grapes for you. And this is not a joke.

In traditional China, it is not customary to publicly show their feelings and touch each other. Couples holding hands in big cities are more likely to be influenced by the West. Public hugs and even more so kisses are considered indecent. Moreover, if a man touches a woman, then everyone will assume that they are in a relationship. Chinese friends (even of the same sex) do not hug each other: the Chinese do not like to be touched at all, a crush in the subway does not count. The words "I love you" are very rare even between husband and wife and between parents and children. Feelings are expressed in caring and in intensive feeding of the object of feelings.

The skirt and shorts of Chinese women can be arbitrarily short, there is nothing wrong with that, while the chest and shoulders are always closed. Cleavage is not worn here, but during the heat, Chinese men wrap T-shirts in the manner of short tops, revealing their bellies. This is a popular sign: "If Chinese men bare their bellies, summer has come."

Learning Chinese from a phrasebook is the most useless thing you can think of. Not to mention the fact that the sounds of Chinese are very different from Russian, the main problem is that Chinese is a tonal language. This means that the same word, pronounced with different intonation, can mean completely different things. Trying to explain what you want using such books is about the same as trying to sing an unfamiliar song, the words of which are in front of your eyes. The sounds may be similar, but you don't know the melodies, and without a melody, it's impossible to understand what you're singing there. You might as well speak Russian. In big cities there is a good chance to meet those who know a little English, but a step to the left, a step to the right — and no one understands you. It's better to accept it right away. Speech will be useless. The good news is that they really want to understand you, so they will try their best.

The Chinese explain all their problems with the number of people. Is the ecology bad? Because there are a lot of people. Traffic rules are not observed? Because there are a lot of people. And so on indefinitely.

Russians are loved in China. Russia is a friend and neighbor. Everything that the Chinese know about Russia, they explain in one phrase: "Because it's very cold there." They drink a lot in Russia. That's because it's very cold. After girls get married, they always gain weight (there is such a stereotype about Russians in China). Because it's very cold. But Russian girls are very beautiful. Big eyes, high nose and white skin.