You have a "la" sinking in here
Categories: Culture | Positive
By Pictolic https://pictolic.com/article/you-have-a-la-sinking-in-here.htmlConductors also know how to swear. Only they do it much more subtly than the others. More intelligent, perhaps. However, it turns out no less insulting. Just a few examples of what can be heard at orchestra rehearsals.
1. There are only three rehearsals left before the shame!
2. It is necessary to play as if you have had a little drink and are not in a hurry.
3. Look with one eye at the party, and two at me!
4. You play it all so familiarly, as if you personally drank with Prokofiev!
5. I will tell you now what notes are here — you will be very surprised.
6. This is not a symphony orchestra, you can't hide in the crowd here, you have to play clean!
7. Guys, these are "cuckoo sounds", not the approach of enemy aircraft!
8. And if someone played a fake, the main thing is to have time to look reproachfully at a neighbor.
9. Don't drown in your own talent!
10. Number the bars, otherwise the eyes may shift, but there are no numbers!
11. Come home and study so that the whole family knows how to play it…
12. Women's choir! Sing along with your brains.
13. You should have absorbed this work with the milk of the teacher!
14. Mendelssohn should be played without Mendelssohn.
15. Remove your manicure from the neck!
16. Stop staring at the flute player's cleavage, there are no notes there, your part is on the music stand!
17. Why was it not explained to you as a child how the trumpet differs from the pioneer horn?
18. Shostakovich was not a boxer, but for such a game he would have risen and punched you in the face!
19. If you play the first digit like that again, I will kill you all in turn, bury you, sit out, and then I will dial a new orchestra!
20. Are you not afraid to go to the second department? Say thank you that intellectuals go to the conservatory. Otherwise, the proletarians would get up from their seats and punch all of you in the face for such a game!
21. Violas, where are you climbing? And it would be fine if something decent climbed, otherwise f-sharp!
22. Try to blow from yourself! I have the impression that the direction of the air flow in the mouthpiece has not been explained to you yet in music school!
23. I know that you all hate me. Now think about how I should treat you?
24. I don't belong in the same music with you!
25. If it were my will, I would use this wand so that the air permeability in your body would resume!
26. I promise you employment in the underpass and I will personally arrange with the cops and bandits so that you are not touched. But I can't vouch for the passers-by.
27. You should have a chainsaw "Friendship" in your hands instead of a saxophone. The sound is the same, but there is more money!
28. When you come home, give my condolences to your wife. How can you sleep with such an irregular person?
29. I stop all ceremonies and from today I will start teaching you to love — if not me, then at least music!
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