So-so"corporate": what did a real ball look like and smell like

We want to think loftily about balls. Oh, Natasha Rostova! All our performances are from movies or novels. And there, of course, it's incredibly romantic. Well, as in that funny song: "Balls, beauties, lackeys, junkers, and Schubert waltzes, and the crunch of a French bun..."

In fact, everything was not so perfect. It's not even perfect at all. And God forbid modern Natasha to be at such a ball, she would have run away from there in horror in fifteen minutes. And don't give a damn about Bolkonsky.

So, first the outfits. The dressing itself took hours. Skirts, crinolines, podubniki, corsets. These last ones are a real execution. Young girls are still nothing, they have good figures, and the older ladies were already well-fed, no one was interested in yoga and diets then, but they ate a lot, just the devil knows how much and until late at night. No healthy lifestyle. The ladies tightened their plump bodies into corsets with the help of several people. The "rolls" crunched terribly. The ladies were ill, they could hardly breathe, but the damned ball obliged.

By the way, men also had corsets to tighten their bellies. The army's bearing was achieved by banal tricks. But it wasn't too comfortable to breathe either

In the 18th century, abundant wigs covered with powder were also required, often lice were started in them. But we must endure, endure, endure. Lice are a trifle compared to other problems.

The last major flood occurred in April 1908, a fifth of the city was under water. It's even worse in St. Petersburg. The city was already standing, but there were no granite embankments. The first one-from the Galley Yard to the Foundry House-was built only in 1763. And then the capital was slowly dressed in granite for another century. Think of the filthy mud on which all these aristocrats, the flower of the nation, Life Guards in white leggings walked and rode from spring to autumn. Only high boots helped out. It is better not to remember about the state of women's dresses, just to wipe yourself.

Let us now consider the room where the balls were given. In any decent mansion, there was certainly a large hall. Just for balls. Everyone gave balls. Papa Onegin, I remember, " gave three balls annually." The palace where Natasha Rostova was going was located in In St. Petersburg, on the English Embankment, and the emperor was going to appear there. So Tolstoy hints: this is the house of the highest state official, well, the level of the current deputy prime minister. And it is clear that the hall was very large. It seems like a lot of space. But let's remember the main thing: thousands of candles lit up this hall. The windows are tightly closed: frost. Gorenje products fill the entire space. And also perfumes. They were thick and oily. They smelled so much that if a woman with such a fragrance was near you now, you would strangle her. And there are hundreds of these perfumes here. Wax, perfume, and also fat, with which the officers polished their boots. Very atmospheric, as a silly blogger girl would write now.

Cosmetics, by the way, were also creepy, the bleached faces of the ladies turned into masks. Men were not allowed without white gloves. Try to spend the whole evening in kid gloves at home, but you'll go nuts. By the way, there was a case. One bastard came to the ball, forgetting his gloves. This was noticed by Nikolai the First, who is still a pedant and a bore. But he acted nobly: he did not flog, but gave his own.

The gloves could only be removed during dinner, thank you for that. But then-put it back on.

The ladies were obliged to wear the best jewelry. Not only are the pieces not easy, all these sapphires-emeralds are after all both show-offs and an indicator of your exquisite taste. There was another terrible case. Princess Beloselskaya-Belozerskaya arrived at the court ball in a purple dress, but the jewelry was completely "past the notes". The princess screwed up. So they looked at her like a sucker, and for another six months they discussed such ugly behavior. They drove the poor thing. Our Oksana Lavrentieva would now answer them "who's a sucker here", but Lavrentieva's ancestors at that time at best made boots or grazed sheep.

Princess Elizabeth Esperovna Trubetskaya, nee Princess Beloselskaya-Belozerskaya

So, the ball! People are coming together, there are a lot of people. And after about thirty minutes, there is almost nothing to breathe in the hall. Do you think that fans were needed for beauty and to cover up sly smiles? No! These were the air conditioners of that era. The ladies fanned themselves zealously, because the corsets are pressing, there is no air, they feel bad.

But the main nightmare is dancing. No, the polonaises and minuets themselves were beautiful. True, heads itched under wigs in the 18th century, but we tolerate it, we dance.

There are a lot of dances, more than at a regular disco now. And everything went according to a strict schedule. Here is a common assortment of them for the first half of the 19th century: polonaise, waltz, polka, lancier, gallop, waltz, francaise, polka, gallop, lancier, waltz, francaise, cotillion... Yes, it will fall off your feet even if you cheered up in the pool in the morning. But then they didn't cheer up in the pools, they washed at all irregularly.

At the beginning of the 19th century, the mazurka became a hit dance. Let's give the floor to Yuri Lotman, the best expert of the era: "The Mazurka was danced with numerous bizarre figures and a male solo, which is the "salt" of the dance. Both the soloist and the manager of the mazurka had to show ingenuity and the ability to improvise.

(Lotman quotes Smirnova-Rosset).

This is practically a sport. Mazurka requires physical dexterity and speed. Of course, everyone is sweating. That is, another component is added to the terrible ambergris in the stuffy hall.

And besides, the boots with horseshoes are rumbling wildly. The cavaliers danced famously. There are memories of how once this knock just drowned out the music. Can you imagine all this hell?

But we had to endure that terrible time, smile, dance, flirt. Their faces were purple from the heat and corsets. And faint.

There is a famous story about how at one of our balls, when the ladies were falling one after another, a resourceful gentleman knocked out the window with a candelabra. And suddenly it started snowing in the hall. Ordinary physics. A lot of wet vapors accumulated, and when the frosty air rushed in, the vapors began to turn into flakes. It's snowing, and everything is in turmoil…

No, it was an ordeal. And if the young could still have a good time, especially after drinking heavily, then people of age were literally stupid from the stench and rumble. And they have hypertension, diabetes, tachycardia. Yes, now we calmly leave the corporate party if we are tired of it. And then it was impossible to leave: a protocol event. The hosts of the ball are vigilantly watching who behaves how, who went where. To leave earlier — well, it's like now to throw wine in the face of the boss. And if there is an emperor in the hall, or someone from the royal family — this is absolutely kirdyk. Until the main one left-to stand, to be afraid, to dance.

Not to mention such a small thing as a toilet. There was a dinner in the program. The ladies ate and drank wine, they had to go out sometimes. No, imagine how they suffered in all these pantaloons-corsets-crinolines. This is not to jump out "Oh, I'll powder my nose for a minute!". This ceremony is very long, accompanied by servants. The lady sits down, the others hold her crinolines.

No, the ball is a real torment. A very bad corporate party. Don't believe movies and novels.