Our loneliness does not equate us to garbage

“Sheng nu” literally translates to “remaining,” says Li Yu Huan, a 33-year-old single Chinese woman, which is what we call unmarried people over 25 years old. In a new film by international skincare brand SK-II, Li Yu and other unmarried women talk about their fears and seek support.

Last year, the brand launched an international #changedestiny campaign to inspire women to build their own lives and choose their own destiny. As part of the campaign, SK-II shared the stories of Chinese women who faced major obstacles to achieving their dreams and goals. These stories formed the basis of the film Marriage Fair. The tape talks about the problems of Chinese women who are literally forced to marry before the age of 27.

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Several Chinese women boldly express their point of view on the most controversial issue of modern Chinese society - "sheng nu". According to The New York Times, the term was made popular by the All China Women's Federation in 2007 and translates to "remaining woman". According to the BBC, The New York Times and China Daily, it is used to denounce women who, for various reasons, did not marry before the age of 27.

Judging by the stories of the heroines of the film, marriage for love is easier to imagine than to bring to life. In many Chinese cities, so-called "marriage fairs" are not uncommon. This is where parents post and compare personal ads. In these "ads" they describe the height, weight, salary and character of their own children. Sometimes women are not even aware that their mother or father has put them on the “fair list”. These markets symbolize completely different views on marriage in two generations. Later, this leads to some girls experiencing strong pressure from their parents in matters of marriage. In the film, many of the heroines talk about how they are literally torn between the desire to live up to the expectations of their own parents and the desire to build their own future.

With the #changedestiny campaign, SK-II is trying to help these women deal with family pressure, and the film shows how the marriage fair in Shanghai's People's Park is changing. A huge mesmerizing installation of "marriage announcements" specially created by SK-II appears in the park. In fact, these are not announcements at all, but messages from hundreds of independent women, saying that they themselves are able to control their own destiny. Thus, the brand has created a whole platform through which women under pressure will finally be able to say out loud what they think. Here, women are happy, independent, and self-confident—the exact opposite of the desperate image of “sheng nu.”

“Even if I don’t get married, I will be happy and have a wonderful life,” says Hu Ting in the film.

Telling your innermost feelings requires incredible fortitude from women, because in this situation they face even more condemnation from family, friends and society. For many, the status of an unmarried woman is the worst nightmare, because it entails severe social stigma. This is especially true for people from middle-income families, who focus on education, career, and their independence predisposes to the belief that marriage must be for love. Some of the characters in the film talk a lot about how happy they are and how satisfied they are with their own lives. But, unfortunately, their friends and parents refuse to accept such happiness.

“Being independent is the right way to live and this is the life I want,” says one of the heroines, Wang Hyao Kee.

Despite public stigmatization, these women succeeded and were able to achieve a lot in a short time. They are capable, smart, talented, and their life goes far beyond the marital status. Undeterred, they took part in the creation of the "Marriage Fair", showing by their own example what it really means to be "sheng nu". According to their beliefs, being independent and successful is something to be proud of. And they will never accept outdated traditions.

“I'm not going to get married for the sake of marriage. So I can never be happy,” says Li Yu Huan.

In addition to defending their own right to marry at a time of their choosing, the women in SK-II are fighting to change the perception of the term "sheng nu." They strive to build mutual respect between generations, to achieve public understanding for those who have decided to manage their own lives.