10 Times Gender Stereotyping Didn’t Make Sense, As Shared By People On The Internet

The other day my son blurted out “Blue is for boys and pink is for girls.” I was quite surprised since his favorite color was pink just two years ago. He also recently told me that “boys are strong and girls are kind”. Kinda weird. I rate him as a pretty kind kid. It got me thinking… How is it that technology is moving at triple the speed but some children are still being fed toxic trash? Then we went to the drive-through and I thought to myself “Even happy meals need to grow up already.” Boy toy, anyone?

Redditor u/APT3993 racked up over 14,000 comments when they asked “What’s something sociably acceptable for one gender but not the other?” Scroll on for some deeply rooted double standards and don’t miss the chats Bored Panda had with two psychologists about where some of this stereotyping could have started. We also spoke to the person behind the original thread.

20 PHOTOS

#1

Males peeing sitting down. And I wanna destroy that whole thing.

I had major foot surgery and couldn't put any weight on my foot for weeks....started peeing and sitting down. Haven't looked back. It's so much more comfortable and cleaner.

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Right? Not always. It turns out the same rules don’t always apply to men and women, or boys and girls when it comes to behaving “normally” in public. What’s considered fair play for one is sometimes frowned upon for the other, as u/APT3993 found out when they asked for some examples of common sexist behavior.

Pictolic reached out to the original poster to find out what inspired the question. He told us he wanted to see if people would only go with sexism directed towards women or whether they'd share their examples.

"As a cis male I have seen some parts which can be quite scary," he told us, adding that he'd heard lots of stories about fathers being stereotyped. The Redditor used an example of dads taking their children to the park and at best, being told they're on “babysitting duty” and at worst, being called creeps.

"It helps show the discrimination on both sides," he told Bored Panda. "No matter what gender we are, we all have gender “rules and restrictions” put on us based on social norms."

#2

A British mom called Laurel Wider had a similar experience to me a few years back. Her preschool son caught her off guard when he boldly declared that boys don’t cry. As a psychotherapist with a background in gender studies, Wider wanted to weep. Instead, she put on her big boy pants, and blue cape and set off to save the day.

Wider started where she believed it all began: the toy box. What transpired was a deep dive into the double standards of dollhouses, dinosaurs, diggers, drills, and doctors’ kits. And later, a solution to slay some sexist dragons.

These days, Wider is considered an expert in the toxic traits of toys. She’s even spoken at the White House. Bored Panda caught up with her to find out how Barbie and Batman might have played a role in some of the stories featured here.

#3

A girl dancing with another girl. A guy dancing with another guy however is another thing entirely. Unless you're in a gay bar.

When Wider researched robots, racing cars, and rocketships, she had a radical realization. Many of the so-called boys' toys encouraged building, battles, blocks, and ball games but lacked emotion. Girls often got gifted more gracefully. 

“At the time, all toys that promoted nurturing/empathy/feelings were heavily marketed to girls... I sought to change this,” she told us. Wider asked 150 parents, teachers, and experts for their opinions.

Not long after, she launched her very own online toy store to tackle toxic masculinity. Her idea to turn superhero action figures into soft dolls for boys soon took off. Since then, Wonder Crew has won several awards.

#4

Wearing clothes designated for the other gender. Women can wear men's clothes all they want with no issues but the moment a guy wants to wear a dress... And let's be honest, in this heat my balls would love to fly free!!!

Let’s be frank, dolls were once not considered socially acceptable toys for boys. And that’s exactly the thinking Wider wanted to change. But it’s not the only reason for her bold move. For her, it was important to bash the boys don’t cry, blue aisle brigade - by teaching boys to be in tune with their emotions.

"I created Wonder Crew, a line of dolls that combine the adventure of an action figure with the emotional connection of a favorite stuffed animal, plus dress up/costume play - to bring "soft skills" to boys without the stigma," she told Pictolic. 

"At the time of the launch, dolls were mostly marketed to girls. Based on research, I learned that doll play teaches and encourages empathy, connection, and vulnerability - these skills were not present or encouraged in toys marketed to boys. I wanted to change this and fill a major gap in the toy industry. Noting that ideally, toys are interest-based, not gender-based."

#5

Sitting in the park alone on a bench, watching the kids play in the playground.

Woman: nurturing

Man: p*do.

Double standards can start young. Babies have some understanding of gender from about 9 months old. By the time they’re toddlers, they develop ideas about behaviors and activities considered "appropriate" for each gender. Putting girls and boys in (pink and blue) boxes further reinforces these stereotypes.

Dr. Sarah Lamer is an assistant professor of social psychology at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. She's done extensive research on gender stereotyping so I reached out to her to find out more.

"Gender stereotypes are limiting by definition, and these limitations impact children early in development. For example, research shows that as early as the age of 2 and by the age of 7, girls believe that they are worse at math than boys, believe angular shapes and rough textures are masculine, believe that a really smart student is more likely to be a boy than a girl, and tend to play with stereotypical 'girl toys' (e.g., tea set, doll) more than stereotypical 'boy toys' ( e.g., skateboard, baseball)," explained Lamer.

#6

People are getting open-minded about it, but body hairs.

Lamer was part of a team of researchers who analyzed a bunch of popular children’s tv shows. They found that in at least 12 shows, the characters were treated differently - depending on how “girly” or “boyish” they behaved. Feminine girls and masculine boys were treated better. While masculine girls and feminine boys were treated worse. They also found the behavior spilled out of the plasma set and onto the playground after children watched the shows. 

“In our studies, we asked girls aged 6 to 11 to watch 4 minutes of silent clips featuring the pattern. After watching these clips, they felt like their parents and peers wanted them to be more feminine. The more pressure the girls felt, the more they played with stereotypical girl toys,” wrote Lamer in a blog post for the Society of Personality and Social Psychology.

But wait. It gets worse. The researchers did a test after the kids watched the shows. It turns out some little girls feel the need to dumb themselves down to fit in. “When we asked them to record a video message to introduce themselves to peers at another school—the less intelligence they conveyed. Subtle patterns like this one could have a major impact,” explained Lamer.

#7

Men's mental health is not considered enough.
I don't need to explain further.

#8

Touching. Women are ALWAYS touching people.

The guy puts his hand on a girl’s shoulder, it’s creepy.

A girl I barely know puts her hand on my shoulder, perfectly fine.

Gender stereotyping is everywhere. On the shelves, in shops, under the kitchen sink, on the television, internet and radio. Sometimes it's stupid and pointless. Other times it’s downright dangerous. U.S. based NGO Save The Children says outdated gender roles play a direct role in millions of human rights violations around the world.

I asked Wider what advice she had for parents who want to break gender stereotypes. "Give kids the opportunity to experience a range of play experiences, regardless of gender. Provide diverse toys," she said. 

But added that adults can take it a step further, "Write to manufacturers, ask for toys that are interest based, rather than gender based - toys that are more inclusive. It's important for kids to have a wide range of play experiences.

#9

The most popular one is... one can have their shirt off one cannot.

#10

I don't think I'm wrong in saying this

Women ogling men is more sociably acceptable than men ogling women

I asked Lamer the same question... "I will pass on the advice that my undergraduate Psychology of Women professor, Joan Chrisler, gave us: If your behavior would change based on the gender of the person you are interacting with, then stereotypes are influencing your actions," she answered.

"For example, would you respond to the child's emotion differently if it were a boy than a girl? Would you suggest a different toy? Would you be less likely to comment on their outfit? Pretend play as a different profession? If so, ask yourself why – that is, what stereotype is guiding that behavior – and adjust accordingly."