Why were bachelors considered second-class people in Russia and humiliated in every possible way
In the old days in Russia there was a real cult of the family, and a person who did not marry at a certain time was considered inferior. If you think that this concerned only women, then you are very mistaken – the attitude towards unmarried men was not much better. Why was it not easy for bachelors to live in Russian society and why were they so disliked?
The fate of an unmarried woman after 20 years was unenviable. They were forbidden to participate in dances and holidays, to dress beautifully, to cook food at weddings, to help women in labor and even cows at the hotel. Such women could not even live in their own house and had to while away their joyless days of "vekovukha" in the house of their parents or relatives.
There is an opinion that it is the genetic memory of those difficult times that makes modern Russian women marry someone, just so that the same period does not come out. But do not think that such discrimination concerned only women. There was no such strict age limit for men, but if a guy didn't get married before the age of 25, he started having problems.
After 30 years, men in Russian society were already considered old and only the noble and rich had the chance to find a worthy match. And an ordinary peasant or townsman who did not have time to arrange his personal life before the age of 25-30 could only choose from losers like him-"vekovukhs" or from young ladies who lost their chastity out of wedlock.
Today, many people do not see any problems in single life and quite a lot of men consciously choose this path for themselves. But in Russia everything was different, because the creation of a family was considered nothing more than a sign of psychological maturity. A man who did not have a spouse and children was suspicious to everyone and very often was not considered a full-fledged member of society.
His point of view was not taken into account either at the family council or at the village meeting and city meeting. We can say that, even with a gray beard, such a person remained for others a boy, whom you can mock and even openly mock, without fear of public condemnation.
In Russian villages, single men were conditionally divided into two categories: "morkovniki" and "obabki". The worst of all were the "carrot-makers", who received their nickname in honor of the pie with carrot filling. This category included men who, for some reason, had never been married. The main reason for the bachelor life of such a person was considered by everyone to be male weakness and this was a constant reason for jokes and ridicule.
It was a little easier for the "obabki" - men who were previously married, but for some reason remained without a wife and could no longer arrange their family life. This category included widowers who lost their wife in adulthood and those from whom the faithful simply ran away.
Obabk was popularly called an overripe podberezovik, which, although it was edible, was not suitable for food according to its taste qualities. So the elderly widower was not particularly needed by anyone, except for "old maids" as hopeless as him and girls with a limping reputation.
In the dictionaries of old words and concepts, there is another word for an unmarried man – "podovinnik". This was also the name of a long and dry, but thin log that burned well, but gave almost no heat. It was believed that with a bachelor "over 30" there is no sense either in the household or in bed, as with that very thin log – not a man, but one appearance.
All this is sad and wrong, but the biased attitude towards unmarried men after 25 years gave some chance to the"century-old" girls, in whose arms they could find solace. So these two categories balanced each other well, which can be considered a positive point.
The patriarchal system, with its cult of male power and family, hit not only the female population of Russia, forcing them to marry as teenagers and endure beatings and backbreaking work. The patriarchy also put heavy pressure on men who, for some reason, could not find a mate and meet the expectations of others.
Keywords: History | Village | Family | Marriage | Man | Society | Ancient russia