Mom dear
While jokes are being made in Russia about the difficult relationship between a son-in-law and a mother-in-law, many peoples have not even heard of such conflicts. And all because they observe centuries-old traditions in communicating with relatives. On what day do they go to the mother-in-law for pancakes, which are celebrated every Friday in Turkey, and why are the natives of Australia forbidden to catch their mothers-in-law's eyes?
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1. Pancakes in Russia and the mother-in-law's handkerchief in Turkey
In Russian traditions, there is mother-in-law's day. Traditionally, on Shrovetide week on Friday, the son-in-law was supposed to come to his mother-in-law for pancakes. On this day, mother tries her best to please her daughter's husband. By the way, the very expression “to the mother-in-law for pancakes” is known to many to this day.
And in the Turkish city of Bashmakchi, Mother's Day is celebrated every Friday, and in fact it is Mother-in-Law's Day. This tradition originated in those days when young girls after marriage on Fridays returned to their father's house. In this way they paid tribute to their parents. Now married men of the city traditionally spend Fridays with their mother-in-law. She, in turn, prepares a special dish specially for her son-in-law, the name of which translates as “mother-in-law’s handkerchief”. It is a tortilla stuffed with cheese and spinach. Daughter is also waiting for her favorite foods and delicious fresh tea.
2. Jokes in England
As in Russia, in Britain they like to joke about mothers-in-law.
Count to the butler:
“James, my Alice’s mother is coming tomorrow, and I ask you to cut off our dog’s tail.
To the bewildered look of the butler, the count explains:
- I want nothing in the house to express joy at the arrival of the mother-in-law.
In 2010, London officials seriously thought that some of the townspeople might not understand these jokes. The city is multinational, and among immigrants from eastern countries it is customary to treat the elders with great respect and keep all their discontent to themselves. As a result, the North London Borough of Barnet produced a booklet, Cultural Differences: Key Issues. It popularly explains to the townspeople why jokes about mothers-in-law are inappropriate. The memo reads: “British jokes about mothers-in-law are not only sexist in themselves, but can be perceived as insults to elders or parents.”
3. Hide and seek in Australia and Oceania
Many natives of Australia and Oceania have a very polite attitude towards their mother-in-law. This is where the so-called rite of passage comes into play. Simply put, the son-in-law should turn away as soon as he sees his wife's mother. The sons-in-law from the Australian Wachandi tribe can be called the most educated. As soon as a young man sees that his mother-in-law is approaching him, he literally rushes into the bushes. On Efate, Vanuatu's third largest island, it is the mother-in-law who has to hide from her son-in-law. However, for this it is not at all necessary for her to rush to her heels at the sight of her daughter's husband. In case of an unwanted meeting, the mother-in-law is enough to cover her face. The main thing is to slip as quietly as possible. The custom of avoidance is associated with the danger of sexual relations between son-in-law and mother-in-law. If they avoid each other, then under no circumstances will there be a temptation to enter into a relationship.
The test, however, also has a hard time. He can see his son-in-law, but it is strictly forbidden to touch them. If suddenly they accidentally touch each other, they risk losing military prowess and good luck.
4. Back to back in Kenya
In the Luo tribe of Kenya, a son-in-law may even talk to his wife's mother. True, for this you need to follow the ritual. The son-in-law and the mother-in-law turn their backs to each other and only after that they start a conversation. These are the rules of courtesy. A similar custom is found among the Australian tribe Kamilaroi. Only there the son-in-law and the mother-in-law are obliged not only to turn their backs to each other, but also to shout as loudly as possible. And all in order to create the impression that they are not nearby, but at a great distance.
5. Nameless mothers-in-law in Papua New Guinea
On the island of New Britain in New Guinea, no one restricts communication between a son-in-law and a mother-in-law. But there is a strict rule - do not call each other by name. By the way, the same dogma applies to father-in-law, mother-in-law and father-in-law. In a conversation with relatives, it is forbidden to even mention the names of objects that are part of their names. So the islanders protect their families from evil spirits that can harm a person by hearing his name. We have to choose synonyms.
6. Mother-in-law's house in Gabon
Men of the Lumbu tribe, which lives in Gabon, try to choose a bride from their village. If a young man liked a girl from a neighboring village, then his fate is unenviable. After the wedding, he must move to the house of his betrothed, where she lives with her mother. From now on, the son-in-law is obliged to serve his mother-in-law in every possible way and carry out all household tasks. And of course, silently endure mother-in-law grumbling and discontent.
Keywords: Mother | Relatives | Family | Traditions