From hate to love: 8 tips on how to survive infidelity and start a relationship with a clean slate
Did you know that cheating can cause a happier and stronger marriage? At least, that's what British psychologists say. The main thing is to properly get out of the depressed state after the affair of a loved one on the side. Experts say that if a person who has been betrayed manages to cope with the pain and disappointment, a new and better stage in the relationship can begin for him. Learn how to recover and restore trust after the betrayal of the second half, from our material.
Infidelity is one of the most common causes of divorce. However, experts say that the right way out of an unpleasant situation can improve the lives of both partners, if they want to continue the relationship. How do you set yourself up for a positive wave and force yourself to go forward?
Here are tips from leading British psychologists that will help you cope with depression and start a common story with a clean slate.
Do not try to "pass by" the infidelity of a loved one. Emotional pain affects the brain in the same way as physical pain, so you need to treat it as well. The first step to healing is awareness. The faster you move through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, and depression, the sooner you will reach acceptance.
If one of the partners has changed, the relationship will never be the same again. If you want to keep them, you need to start building a new life together. Don't demand that everything be your own way just because your significant other is to blame. Together, discuss issues that make you both feel hurt and unheard of.
In order for your relationship to reach a new level, you need to break all ties on the side. This applies to both partners. Remove your ex-lovers from your social media friends list and tell your loved ones never to mention them again.
Change your image — it will raise morale. Studies of American scientists have proven that a haircut during an emotional disorder charges with positive emotions. But don't overdo it! The results of other experiments have led scientists to conclude that self-regulation skills weaken when we try to drown out anger or frustration with radical changes in appearance. It is better if it is a gradual minimal transformation.
If you decide to stay with your partner after cheating, then, of course, you do not want to spoil his reputation in the circle of friends. However, you will need people to share what you have been through with. Tell your closest friends about your pain, preferably those who have been married for a long time and have experienced storms in family life. You can also share your problems in thematic groups in social networks or ask for help from a psychologist.
Severe emotional shock caused by the news of infidelity can lead to symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. You may experience increased anxiety and hypersensitivity to any approaching danger, as well as suffer from panic attacks.
Subsequently, you may be haunted by memories of how you learned about your partner's infidelity, or visual images of his infidelity. Try using calming techniques such as deep breathing for a minute or describing your surroundings out loud. If you are concerned about insomnia and panic attacks, be sure to contact a specialist.
The most unifying force after treason can be a new common goal. This will increase your self-confidence in the future, but it is important to remember that you can not compete with a partner. You can save together for a new home or for a vacation. Try to try something new every week – watch a TV series, go to a cafe, or explore unusual walking routes. This will increase your dopamine levels and help you feel happier.
Recovery from depression takes a long time. This is an uneven process: sometimes you think that everything is left behind, and the next day you are again covered with a wave of hopelessness. Start keeping a diary, describing your feelings and emotions, as well as trying to set goals and move forward. The process will improve your mood, and rereading the notes will help you realize the progress in the relationship.
No one says that it will be easy and painless to survive infidelity. But if you and your partner cope with this, your relationship will become much stronger and sparkle with new colors.
Meanwhile, this British woman claims that a woman needs an affair on the side. She is convinced that every lady should have an affair at least once in her life to feel sexy and desirable.
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