All the luxury of Georgian cuisine, or "Full mtsvadi you, Genatsvale!"
Hospitable Georgians are known for their abundant feasts — then I like to eat. And if you lose weight, Georgia is not for you. George Zотов wrote about this delicious and funny text that reveals all the charm of Georgian cuisine and the vanity of attempts to desert from the front of gluttony.
One day George for two days was in Tbilisi. He didn't know what to do. Pounds gained as PI**ETS. Elephants from the zoo nearby, looking at the volumes of George, and baptized in silence trunk. Georgian cuisine was creeping up from everywhere, whispering ominously mtsvadi, khinkali, khachapuri, odzhakhuri, grub, chkmeruli. It was like voodoo. George retreated in panic, eyes becoming thicker.
In the morning he went for: escaped portion lobio, sipped mineral water, and hid in town until the evening. When George returned, the hotel was already waiting for the other Soso, that is Joseph. As for Stalin, Yes. George understood that now is.
— And went to dinner... affectionately and ominously said Soso. I know, BL**K, your dinner... nervously said George. — There satsivi from a bull whole, and kharcho with dolphins in their natural size. No, I'm a little to eat wanted. We slightly and eat, promised Soso. Then George would not be conducted, but all the same he wanted. He agreed. They drove to the restaurant where it was just awful how many people. Friday it is, of course, Friday, but this much? George felt a suspicion.
— Today is a holiday, right? he asked. — Giorgoba, — said Soso, and was blocking his exit. — St. George's day. Now you know we need to drink. You're a George at all, or who, Katso? That's the fact of the matter.
George immediately got sick to be George, but the selection was lacking. They brought and set the table — other places were not. There would be George and escape (he's not the first time in Georgia), but he saw on other tables khinkali the size of a fist, and his legs refused. You have also refused, and it is not necessary, but I do. Khinkali delicious, smoked, and generally acted like last bastard.
— What's it gonna be? — ruthlessly asked Soso. Three khinkali...- bleated George. — On each. Ten — cut Soso tone of Stalin. — Three... — has acquired firm George. — Five... — Bargaining is not appropriate!
Dance of death, the grip looks and game of tumours on the faces went on for several minutes, then agreed on four khinkali. George's plump face flushed with happiness, and vain. Soso called the waitress, and she began quickly to speak in Georgian. She wrote, and nodded. George realized that this is not gonna end.
— What are you having? he asked. — Khinkali...- with a smile replied Soso. — First time I hear that four trucks be ordered with five offers. Oh, the Georgian language is so complex... the Hall was Packed to capacity. The scene was playing Georgian music. Brought khinkali — they really were four. Then khachapuri. Kebab. Phal. The potatoes in their skins. Salad. Kebab in pita bread. Mushrooms with cheese. Decanter Chachi, three kinds of lemonade, and beer. — The killer so pale George. — Here you are. Not enough — will order.
George thought that if now to be excused to the bathroom, and there repainted in the dog, with white and black spots, he will be able to leave the institution without being recognized. The idea had to be abandon due to lack of paint. Other chances to escape were not. George sighed, and took the tail khinkali. Further, they gave a toast. The great Georgian people. For the great Russian people. For a culture. They sent nationalists in x*th. And ate. Ate endlessly.
With khinkali and kebab George disposed of easily. The kebabs just didn't give up. Part phali had to leave alone. Mushrooms no resistance and were butchered. Khachapuri climbed with difficulty. Salad George do not touch. The people around toasts and dancing. After learning that George Russian, they wanted to drink with him. The idea is to disguise the dog and escape no longer seemed absurd to George. The scene played Russian pop music, and George felt sick at all. For "Zhuzhuna cvima movida" he is willing to listen, "Hey, babe, it's nice out," not all of it. Former President comrade Saakashvili has marvelous mental development, once said that Georgia is completely gone from enemy of Russian culture. Oh Yes, George it is felt.
Next, George with Soso sat and drank lemonade. Lifting George could not. Soso too. They came then into the air, and long breathed. Then somehow called a cab and left.
Now George knows that Giorgoba survived and will live to old age. But how did he get here for another 5 days?!
Help.