People Share 8 Incidents That Made Them Realize That Their Partner Was Not, In Fact, ‘The One’

Probably many of us have dreamt from our teen years of having a love story and living happily ever after as we have seen in films. However, as we grow a bit older, we understand that such perfect love stories that we always saw on TV don’t exist. And to keep a relationship healthy and long-lasting, it requires a lot of effort from both of the partners. 

However, sometimes it may seem that we have finally met the person with whom we are going to spend the rest of our lives. But well - all it takes is for them to do something that makes us immediately realize that this person is in fact, not “the one” for us.

If you enjoy stories about why somebody broke up - buckle up! One Reddit user started a thread online asking folks to share things that happened and led them to realize that their partner is not their person after all.

More info: Reddit

8 PHOTOS

#1

When he started physically hurting my dog.

#2

When she introduced me to her rich ex-boyfriend

Which led her to reveal to me that she had sent him nudes during their prior relationship.

I didn't mind, though. He was her boyfriend before me, after all. Their past was their past and I was glad she trusted me with that information.

Then I asked her how come I hadn't gotten something like that yet and the answer was "Well, maybe if you could afford me nice gifts I'd have sent you something by now"

Boy, did I IMMEDIATELY realize she was not the one?

Pictolic got in touch with relationship coach Amie Leadingham and she shared a few common signs that a partner may, in fact, not be “the one":

“Not having similar life visions, core values, goals, and priorities,” she stated. “If there are fundamental differences in what you both want out of life, this can lead to ongoing conflict and disagreements.”

Also, if there is a lack of emotional connection and intimacy. “Vulnerability creates connection, so if you don't feel seen, understood, and cherished by your partner, the relationship may not be fulfilling in the long run,” Leadingham emphasized.

#3

He screamed at me in public in front of our friends when I beat him at a board game.

#4

When she left me I got sad that my friend died. We were engaged.

She added that struggling to resolve conflicts healthily may be a sign that your partner is not the right person for you. “All couples disagree at times, but an inability to work through issues collaboratively is a red flag. It is not only love that keeps a relationship together, it is how a couple fights and resolves their conflicts.”

And the last one - a lack of trust and honesty. “Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Secrets, lies, and betrayals can erode the foundation of the relationship.”

Now, I am sure there are many people out there who understand that they are dating ‘not the one’ for them and feel unhappy, however are hesitant to end the relationship. Well, about that, Leadingham noted that it is essential to recognize and understand our own needs within a relationship. “Take the time to deeply reflect on which of your needs are not being fulfilled by your partner.”

#5

There were many moments, but this one was one of the few that stood out.

We were watching the Barbie movie. A double date, and due to my movie rewards I got all four tickets and got everyone discounted food. I was excited about this movie too. It was all good until the about “depressed Barbie”. A satire commercial about a Barbie who’s depressed.

My then-boyfriend started laughing manically and pointed at me, saying “That’s her! That’s her !” Then leaned over me to try to get the other couple's attention while gesturing at me. He was almost in tears like it was the biggest joke and I was the funniest punchline. I struggled so much with depression and having him just laugh at me, made that moment drag on. I realized throughout our 10-year relationship he’s never tried to understand me or my mental health but he thought my feelings were laughable, deserved ridicule, and tried to get others to join in… Something broke in me that night. I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the movie and it’s one I’ll forever associate with that moment of hurt and embarrassment. I knew then that the person who truly loves me would never purposefully make me feel that way.

#6

When I realized he doesn't take no for an answer for ANYTHING.

She explained that if, for example, your relationship is facing challenges in terms of intimacy, your partner may be unaware of their shortcomings in this area. “It is your responsibility to communicate your needs to your partner to ensure they are met.”

The relationship coach emphasized that we cannot expect our partners to intuitively know what we require without expressing it. “Have an honest conversation with your partner about your thoughts and feelings.”  

And if after communicating, your needs are still not being met and you realize that this is a non-negotiable for you, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship. “By doing so, you create space for someone who can truly fulfill your needs and contribute to your happiness,” Leadingham pointed out.

#7

4 yrs ago when a fifteen-year-old girl DMed me on Instagram after trying to find a way to contact me about how my bf (at the time) was begging her for nudes. yeah.

#8

When I felt a sense of dread when coming home to her, or when I was at home and she was coming home to me. Wondering what triviality she would be angry about this time.