Ordinary Americans told about their invention — sex machines

Electricity is a great thing. But only Americans fully understand how great. Photos and interviews by Timothy Archibald.

Source: esquire.ru

1. No name ("Nameless")

Jon Traven, Idaho City, Idaho: "I am an ordinary divorced Christian, I am not disposed to promiscuity, and yet I invented a sex machine. The idea came to me a year before the divorce. I thought it would help to improve our sex life, but I was too late — my wife filed for divorce before I finished the car. Couples often come to me and say, "Jon, sit with us, listen to us." And if a husband and wife need something to refresh their relationship, and I can do something about it - why not? However, I always ask my clients for a marriage certificate and a written statement that the car will be used only in the family. I am like an arms dealer who sells his goods only if he has passed the tests, and the buyer has a permit to store weapons. And to help out, I'm building a ranch for a Christian children's camp."

2. Thrill hammer ("Hammer of awe")

Allen Stein, Chicken Ranch Brothel, Pahrump, Nevada: "I invented the world's first internet-enabled sex machine. It is made on the basis of a dental chair, which has a built-in vibrator, computer monitor and lighting system. The whole structure weighs 200 kg, but the vibrator can walk back and forth at a speed of 6500 revolutions per minute and spin at a speed of 150 revolutions. When I invented my car, the owner of the Chicken Ranch brothel, whose name is Nirvana, became interested in it. But when we assembled the Hammer of Awe, her enthusiasm faded. She said: "We must remember that our institution became the prototype for the movie "The Best Brothel in Texas" (a musical of the early 1980s. — Ed.), and everything here should be in the spirit of the good old Wild West. Therefore, we need to drape this thing with a little cloth." That's what I'm doing."

3. Holy Fuck ("Very good")

Ruiin and Tuesday, Portland, Oregon. Ruiin: "For me, the main thing is not an orgasm, but the way to it. It's the same with this car. I really liked doing it, working through every detail. And when it came down to it — nothing special. Yes, Tuesday tried it once, and that's it. When they ask me to use it, of course, I give it, but not to everyone. A lot of people are just disgusting to me. And this is not a rake that you give to a neighbor to clean his lawn. In general, I don't know what we're going to do with her. Halloween is coming soon, so I'm thinking maybe we should attach a toy ghost to it and put it in front of the house — for children who come for sweets." Tuesday: "Ruiin is a pervert, that's for sure. Well, not exactly a complete pervert. He just loves sex very much. He's like, 'Everything is fine in life.'"

4. Orgazmo ("Orgazmo")

Christie Van Til Henderson, Nevada: "Orgasmo is the most expensive sex machine on the market, it costs $6969. But I don't really like all these mechanisms myself, I like live sex more. I'm only doing all this because I went to work as a secretary for Rick, who invents and sells these things. At first I didn't understand how you could so easily sell someone an electric penis for six thousand dollars, but then you get used to it, like any job. When we first opened the store with the sign "Unique sex toys, free demonstration", we agreed that I would conduct these demonstrations with men, and he with women. Everything is very polite, professional and courteous. Of course, this was not always the case. Actually, before the wedding, I lived in Kentucky, and my father is a preacher."

5. Two to Tango ("Tango together")

Dwayne Baccus, Emmett, Idaho: "I called this job "Tango together" because it takes two people to handle it. When I first started coming up with it, it was a matter of principle for me: I certainly wanted two people to participate in the process. I made my first sex machine about two years ago, after I came across these things on some kind of website like World Sex News. There were a lot of very complex mechanisms — flywheels, electric drives and the like. And I thought: why not just use a bicycle frame? But when I assembled the car, I had to wait a year for field tests. I didn't have a permanent partner then, so I was looking for people to test almost on the street. As a result, I found one pair — they came to my workshop and tested everything right there on the spot."

6. The One and Only ("The First and only")

Frank Rymer, Dixon, California: "I'm actually an engineer, I make all sorts of custom devices for NASA and small private companies. This sex machine is my first and only experience. I was terribly ashamed in front of my friends, I really didn't want them to know that I was doing it. As it turned out — absolutely in vain. They fully supported me in my endeavor. Not that they were immediately ready to try it on themselves. But in theory they like it. But to my wife, the car seems too cold, mechanical. For me, the next important step is testing the car, but it is very difficult to find the right people. Family and loved ones are not suitable here — they will say in any case that everything is fine, just to support me, not to offend me. And to advertise, to meet all sorts of strange people — it's all not for me."

7. Monkey Rocker ("Rocking Monkey")

Dan and Jen Zichert, Bakersfield, California. Dan: "My wife and I have agreed that we will live on her salary for a year — she is my teacher at a junior school — and at this time I will take a break and understand what to put my energy to. Just at that moment I came across these mechanisms on the net. They looked like real men's crafts: a bunch of iron, bolts, a motor. All this is completely alien to the sensual female nature. I wanted to do something that would please women: something quiet, comfortable, discreet, chic and attractive. Something that women wouldn't be afraid to try. That's how the "Rocking Monkey" turned out." Jen: "It didn't surprise me at all that Dan came up with this thing. It's not like we're obsessed with sex. It's just that Dan is a man, and he is interested in sex as a skill."

8. Atomic Rider ("Atomic Rider")

Scott Ihalt, Champlin, Minnesota: "I've been fond of tinkering since childhood, I got it from my father. I started with Lego, and now I make such devices. This device is suitable for everyone: gay men, couples who do not have sex, and couples who want to enrich their sex life. I've been thinking that it would be nice to arrange delivery to women's prisons. Why not? My boss — a very religious man — supports me completely, because he believes that these things can save a lot of marriages. Although there were problems at first. Bank of America didn't want to give me a loan for promotion, they thought I was lying to them. Then I decided to bring the "Rider" directly to the bank and show it to the vice president. I came and put it right in the center of the operating room. Everyone became insanely interested, especially the elderly — they clearly understood what was what."

9. Little Almighty ("Almighty baby")

Eric Wilson, Lancaster: "Like all my inventions, this device owes its appearance to my wife. We complement each other perfectly. But we have been married for eight years, we have two children, and at some point we stopped feeling like newlyweds. Then I thought, what if we make a real sex machine that would have sex with her while she has sex with me? I went to the garage, began to think what was what, and after a while made our first sex machine. She worked with an electric drill, was terribly clumsy, very sharp, but my wife and I didn't notice it. When we tried it for the first time, it was a blast. Paint was falling off the walls — it was so great. We made love all night, and the next morning my wife was beaming. We spent the whole week in the bedroom."

10. Hootchie Harley ("Cool Harley")

Ken Cruz, New Orleans, Louisiana: "When my wife saw her, she said: "Don't even think about coming up to me with this thing." In the end, I put it on eBay, sold it for $250, and that's it. In general, I have a family business: there are five people in the company, including my father, who work in my garage. When people find out what I do, they immediately imagine my clients are dirty perverts. In fact, this is not the case. They are ordinary people. Moreover, I am sure that very soon sex machines will come to every home - like televisions or microwaves. Now I sell about 30 pieces a week. The funny thing is that married men often order a King Kong size elden, and women choose the smallest ones that we have in our assortment. Thanks to this, I have learned a lot about men and women."