Not weak sex: about female violence against men

A kitchen knife to the throat, a fist in the teeth... Violent scandals are often hushed up, but the number of such cases is growing and victims are beginning to talk about what happened. The number of incidents of violence committed by women against men has tripled over the past ten years. Unfortunately, the police and society often do not believe the representatives of the stronger sex, believing that they themselves provoke women to cruelty.

The stories of two Britons who managed to prove their wives' guilt in domestic violence show the reality of nightmares happening behind a closed door.

Without a doubt, cruelty to women is a big problem. But, at the same time, domestic violence also occurs against men, although they are often shy to talk about it. According to the National Statistical Service for March 2019, approximately 786,000 men in the UK suffered from domestic violence. Experts believe that the number of victims may be three times more, because most of the victims prefer to remain silent about what happened.

Violence against women is considered more serious, since more victims die at the hands of men — about 73%. But men who have suffered from female bullying die in a different way. Approximately 11% of men try to commit suicide, while among women there are only 7.2 such cases.

56-year—old Tony Hannington is the head of a transport company. A serious, self-confident man suffered every week from beatings and bullying of his wife, with whom he had been married for 5 years. 57-year-old Tracy, who worked as a nurse in a nursing home, poured boiling water on him and put a kitchen knife to his throat. He was silent about it, believing that domestic violence is taken seriously only if the abuser is a man.

Tony began to communicate with his future wife on a dating site. Just three weeks later, the couple started living together, and six months later they got married. After a few months, the wonderful relationship changed dramatically. Tracy began to have sudden mood swings, she was jealous of her husband and quarreled with him because he did not help her with the housework. At first, the attacks of aggression happened only on weekends, and over time they began to recur every evening.

Tony was afraid to come home because his wife met him with fists. At first, the man tried not to answer, but this irritated Tracy even more. After he moved into a separate room to avoid an angry spouse, the situation became even worse. She beat him with everything that came to hand: a vacuum cleaner, a bag of beans. When her husband did not get up at her first call, Tracy watered him with water from a jug right in bed.It's hard for people to believe that he couldn't handle a woman who is smaller and weaker than him, but Tony lived with the mindset of never raising a hand to a woman. Tracy realized that she could do whatever she wanted. When her husband told her that he would contact the police, she replied that she would say that he had started a quarrel. Tracy constantly humiliated her husband, calling him weak-willed and spineless. His wife restricted his communication with his family and carefully checked the list of friends on Facebook. When Tony told her that he was having suicidal thoughts, his wife replied that if this happened, she would also hang herself.

The moment when the wife attacked Tony with a knife, became a turning point. She put a knife to her throat for not helping her with the housework. The man realized that his wife could kill him and tried to throw the knife away, severely cutting his hand at the same time.

Tony was already ready to commit suicide, but at that time his niece asked him to help her with the move. Then the man established a relationship with his mother and told her about the horror that is happening in his family. The mother suggested that her son contact the center for assistance to victims of domestic violence. The Briton decided to record on his phone what was happening during the scandal and provide the police with the recording as evidence. This was the finale of all the problems.

In October last year, Tracy pleaded guilty to causing bodily harm and coercion, for which she received two years in prison. Tony has plucked up the courage to tell his story, but many men remain silent because they do not want to destroy the family and be separated from their children.

47-year-old Hugh Jones is a teacher from Pembrokeshire. He also suffered from female violence. His ex-wife started attacking him after the birth of his first child. The police came to them on a call many times over the course of three years, the cops automatically found him guilty of all conflicts. The wife beat Hugh with fists and a belt, rejoicing in her impunity.

At first, the man blamed everything on postpartum depression. There was a case when Hugh was holding a child in his arms, and his wife was beating him and shouting into the police phone that he was beating her. His wife even threatened to burn down the house together with him and the children. The Briton often had to spend the night in the car. Even his friends didn't believe him when he told them about what was happening.

Hugh couldn't leave the family, worrying about the children. He was afraid that his wife would be able to harm them. The Briton managed to get the conviction of his ex-wife for assault and battery by recording what was happening on the phone. Nevertheless, he had to defend his rights to two young children in court for a long time. The man has not seen them for six months, having met for the first time only recently. The court still gives the main right to the kids to the ex-wife, despite the fact that she is accused of violent behavior.Such stories as Tony and Hugh, hundreds of thousands. Most men hush up their suffering and hide problems from family and friends. The fear of appearing weak and helpless holds back before seeking help, and the desire to stay close to children turns out to be stronger than the instinct of self-preservation. It is impossible to distinguish violence by gender, because physical and mental pain affects both women and men.

Even the rich and famous suffer from family violence. Pamela Anderson spoke about her dark past and about the bullying of ex-boyfriends.