“I Never Came Clean”: 10 People Reveal Their Most Disturbing Secrets

However close we are to our loved ones, some things we still keep only to ourselves. Dr. Michael Slepian, an expert on the psychology of secrets, says that keeping secrets is a universal thing – we all do it. We keep secrets about ourselves and about the people we know, and it's all about what it means to live in a community.

But secrets also come with a lot of anxiety and isolation. Confessing, even if anonymously, can give the keeper a great deal of relief. That's why these two threads got as many comments as they did – people were rushing to share their burdens with strangers. Folks had some disturbing secrets they wanted to get off their chests, and others confessed what they would never tell their significant other. Curious to know what secrets they were? Scroll down and see for yourself!

Pictolic reached out to one of the Redditors who posed this question about secrets on the Ask Reddit community. Check out our short conversation with the user u/Waltef_j below!

10 PHOTOS

#1 My husband passed away a few years ago. I tell everyone how much I loved him and only talk about the good times we had and how great he was. In honesty, I hated him for every bit of the 33 years we were together. He was so mean to me, both physically and mentally single day. He hid it well and in front of anyone he was okay to me but when we were alone he was terrible. I hated him so much I live alone now and am just finding myself. I moved to a different state and have made new friends and everyone seems to like me and I even like myself now too. It's been really hard to tell myself that I am okay. I have never said any of this out loud. I feel bad that I am happy he is gone.

The author of this thread, u/Waltef_j, kindly agreed to answer a few of our questions. We were curious how the idea of this particular question came to the Redditor. "I was laying in my bed and was bored as always."

"So I thought about [something] which would entertain me. Scrolling through Reddit I landed on the r/AskReddit sub and wondered what question could let people tell some interesting stories." So they landed on the one about secrets.

#2

#3

My ex-husband told me one time that he didn’t think it was wrong for a father to be sexually intimate with his daughter, as long as she was “old enough.” No one will ever know why we truly divorced because I don’t think anyone would believe me. He started talking about children. I’d never let my daughter be his.

"I was very surprised by the reactions," the Redditor tells us. "I never thought it would get that big. It's shocking to read what some people have/had to deal with in their life." However, the user also feels happy that they could provide a place for people to get their secrets off their chest.

#4 A few years ago one of our cats died after we had her for 14 years. We were all heartbroken and devastated by her loss. We noticed something was wrong on Thursday, took her to the vet on Friday, and she died late Sunday night.

The night she died, I sent everyone to bed and I stayed up with her. She kept getting into the bathtub and lying down as opposed to a bed we had set up for her.

Just before she died, she let out a horrible scream and went into convulsions. Then she just stopped breathing.

I never told my spouse or kids about that last few moments. I just told them she just slipped away. I still want to cry every time I think about it. I will never tell them about that.

#5 I can log in to the jukebox at my local bar from my apartment. I often log in from home and require it to play “what does the fox say” on repeat.

#6

A few years ago I used to work at Home Depot at the returns desk. It was mostly very elderly people who worked alongside me in our store. I was the youngest in the team.

We had a lady, Margaret, who had issues with bowel control due to her medications. She used to fart without even realizing she was farting. Usually loud but harmless ones even when she was having a normal conversation. So we got so used to her doing that, even though it was awkward in the beginning.

One day we were having a team huddle and it started to smell like fresh manure..such a strong stench..and then one more with a different flavor this time. The manager dismissed the team huddle...and one of the team members murmured "My God, Margaret, what was that!!"

It was me. I did that Margaret, I'm sorry. 

"I saw that some were happy that this thread existed because it gave them a place to share their problems or traumas anonymously," they said. "And also [there] were some Redditors who offered help."

"So it wasn't only a place where people shared their secrets, but also could get help or feel [relieved] by telling others about it," the Redditor added. "It shows that a lot of people [want] a safe space where they don't get judged for their secrets."

#7 All day, every day, relapsing is all I can think about. I’ve been clean for 3 1/2 months but oh boy is it difficult. I crave the relapse. The ONLY reason I haven’t is because it would hurt my boyfriend to see me relapse.

#8 I walk around the house and monologue. Like, a lot.

#9 I have a good friend who is a very shy pooper. Like, we’ve been on trips together and he won’t s**t for days, he says he just can’t relax and go because he’s in public. But one time in college, about six years ago, he was super drunk and fell asleep s******g on my toilet. And the s**t got all over my toilet, not sure how but most of it did not go in the bowl. I got him up, cleaned him and the toilet up, and put him to bed. He was blackout drunk and doesn’t remember it at all. I don’t have the heart to tell him. He’d be mortified. It wouldn’t do anyone any good. But when he’s shy about pooping around me, I can’t help but chuckle at the irony.

#10

People in my personal life who find out I'm a professional domme, instantly feel free to tell me their darkest secrets.

I know who's secretly gay, I know who's on steroids, I know who's kinky, I know who has erectile dysfunction, I know both men & women who were brutally said as children, I even know someone who's k****d a guy (he wasn't boasting or bragging, he seemed shook up about it. I might be the only one he's told)

So, my most disturbing secret is that I'm a trauma sponge for absorbing everyone else's disturbing secrets.