Dreamalkina, Davalkina and 3 other types of women who have problems with "married"

Livejournal blogger Morena Morana writes a lot and deliciously about sex and relationships. And of course, she could not pass by such a topic as the lovely ladies from the "I can't wait to get married" league. Next — the direct speech of the author.

No, I certainly don't want to say that all women in a row should be married. Some do not want to go there quite consciously — they have already been there, or have other goals and values. But there are also those who, as it were, are not against marriage, or even break into marriage with all the nonsense. But – it does not work.

Ksyushechka Dreamalkina, for example. You all know her. At the age of 42, Ksyusha already has solid savings. Accumulations are concentrated mainly on the triceps, on the pubis, and on the inner side of the thigh in the form of cellulite. In terms of career zero growth, Ksenia stopped at the position of chief specialist of the accounting department in LLC "Quagmire".

Ksenia is still "holding on", which in her understanding does not mean a passion for sports or a weekly visit to the pool, but a high heel that threatens Ksenia with varicose veins, and a push-up bra, where she diligently puts the rollers of girlish breasts.

Recently, after attending courses for young makeup artists, Ksenia learned the meanings of such obscene words as strobing, chroming and contouring. Although, to be honest, in her case, fisting would be better. Men are more interested in it than some kind of ointment on the face, although women's magazines say the opposite.

For forty years, the older relatives of the Dreamkin family chipped in, and bought Ksyushka a mink fur coat so that she could look for the prince more conveniently. However, despite this humanitarian aid, Prince, or at least sex, Dreamer had not had for several years. Now she is looking for a good "grandmother" who can remove the crown of celibacy – it seems to her that men have not noticed her for a long time.

If Dreamalkina had been more attentive, she would have noticed that Ivan Prostodyrov, a divorced specialist of the technical service of LLC "Quagmire", was timidly trying to take care of her. But the evil queen stuck a piece of a crooked mirror in Ksyusha's eye. Thin men seem to Ksyusha to be dirty, well–fed – fat, working with her in the same organization – beggars, trying to get to know her on the street -gopnik, etc.

Ksyusha dreams of a completely different world of men, where stylish and brutal males buy apartments and yachts with their girlfriends. The women in the department dream about the same thing. When one of them suddenly said she was waiting for the coming of aliens, an ambulance was called to her. And they didn't take all the others, although it would have been more logical. Because none of them will definitely have oligarchs, and with aliens, fuck knows.

It's as if she collects greasy looks, whistles and brazen ass slaps. Masha is a living illustration to the tedious droning of all mothers "I don't want to be forced by you."

Masha knows that sex is her main weapon. She brings down sex on men sharply and audaciously, like a gopnik sharpening. Centenarians reading my blog probably caught films about Austin Powers. Here, there were such girls who shot nipples. This is Masha.

A second later, the audacious Masha is already aiming at you with a nipple. Another moment – and she is already swinging somewhere on the chandelier, like an equilibrist in a children's circus studio. A moment later, Masha is already prancing on the stranger's penis, trying to show what a skilled Marya she is.

Well, now you can get married, right? No?!! Next!

For a couple of months she diligently spent time in expensive restaurants and on the summer terraces of popular establishments, sadly sucking, and not always cocktails. I bought a long caterpillar fur coat and grew my hair. I flew to the Maldives and visited several expensive exhibitions of contemporary art and "performances", similar to the one where one fat artist was shoved daisies in the ass. I've seen celebrities in person: Nikasa Safronova, Petrosyan's backup dancer, number 83 from Babkina's round dance, but did not dare to speak.

Having squandered, Lena went to work in her specialty, as an assistant to the chief specialist of LLC "Quagmire" Ksenia Nikolaevna Dreamalkina. Now they dream of status men together, and wait. The old doctors called it the term "induced delirium", but now it's called two strong and independent women.

Ophelia does not get acquainted on the street – in the dashing 90s, her mother told her that it was dangerous. Ophelia does not relax in clubs, does not like hiking, does not swim in a basik. She speaks about Tinder, badu and mambah, repeating someone else's words that there is 90% shit there (and Ophelia herself, of course, is a ripe cherry on the cake).

Ophelia Afanasyevna just goes to work at school, then goes home, then checks children's notebooks, and if she has a little time left, she watches TV shows about true love.

Who and how can find Ophelia with her rhythm of life? Who will be the liberating prince? Naughty high school student Pimples? But this is an article. The red-nosed caretaker Bukhanko? But it's off the charts. Batman???

The prince should not just appear in Ophelia's life. He should probably ring her doorbell and immediately make a timid marriage proposal. Or suddenly appear from under the bed with flowers and champagne. I don't even know, I don't know…

Luda does not experience sexual attraction, does not succumb to emotions, is not caught on the centuries-old fishing rod of love. All she does is sort out men for their willingness to give her what she calls a "serious relationship."

The man looks at Luda in horror with the eyes of a Bambi fawn, trying to figure out if she has a gun, or if she can run away right now. The fact that a man begins to look at his watch more and more often, and calls himself, pretending to be busy, escapes her attention.

Perhaps People are hindered by excessive pressure. Or maybe her pressure is only a consequence, because Luda clearly understands that marriage is not needed by a man, but by her. A man, in fact, will not receive anything in marriage with Luda, except ladies' legs hanging from his neck.

Because those women who have something to offer their spouse, morally and financially, still need to be properly persuaded. But there's not much to offer People. By itself, without a man, he is a gaping Black Hole that distorts gravity and time, emptiness, absolute nothingness, a vacuum without interests and aspirations.

If Luda had at least a little distracted from getting married, and at least started breeding ficuses, then, oddly enough, she would have had an order of magnitude more chances to make a successful match.

Getting together, women, of course, scold "these goats." For some reason, they don't come across others.