911 Calls During Which Dispatchers Could Barely Stop Themselves From Laughing

Usually, a call to an emergency number such as 911 or 112 is a serious thing. Yet, sometimes, the situations people call for can sound quite funny when said out loud. Or be funny themselves. After all, people are interesting beings who tend to get into some odd and funny situations. This list contains various stories of fun-sounding emergency calls shared by dispatchers in a viral Reddit thread.

More info: Reddit

10 PHOTOS

#1

Woman called to report seeing a shark in the ocean.

Yes, ma'am. That is where we keep them.

#2

A guy calls from a payphone to complain that he has a pipe wrench stuck up his butt and he needed an ambulance. He gave his location as the corner where the payphone was located. I asked him if he could tell me his appearance so I could be sure the medics could find him. His response, "look dude, I'll be the only guy on the corner with a pipe wrench in his butt." I couldn't argue with that...

#3

When I was a 911 calltaker I got a call from a gentleman reporting an issue with his toilet. For whatever reason it was a bit hard for me to understand exactly what the problem was, except that it definitely involved his toilet. After a little while, I determined to the best of my ability that the toilet was overflowing and he didn't know what to do. Although plumbing issues are absolutely not an appropriate reason for calling 911, it wasn't unheard of. To a certain extent I can understand the thought process and people have certainly called 911 for less.

After a bit more talking, however, I realized that he had not called about a plumbing issue. You see, it wasn't water that was coming out of his toilet, but demons. The demons were spilling out of his toilet and he needed help. I put in a complaint for the police (I know, cops for a mental health issue is not idea, but it's the only thing we had) and kept him on the phone as he was fairly distressed. Unfortunately, it was a busy evening and the cops wouldn't be able to get to him for a few minutes. As such, I asked if he could close the toilet lid. He said he could and he did. Did this stop the demons from coming out of his toilet? It did! This made him much more calm and I was able to release the call. Can't remember what ended up happening with him. I'd guess he was taken to the local ER that had a psychiatric crisis center voluntarily. But it stands out as the time I solved a caller's toilet demon problem with a very straight-forward solution.

As you might already know, 911 is an emergency telephone number. This exact number is used in several places: 

• Argentina;
• Canada;
• Dominican Republic;
• Jordan;
• Mexico;
• Palau; 
• Panama; 
• the Philippines; 
• Sint Maarten; 
• the United States; 
• Uruguay.

It also is a part of the North American Numbering Plan (NANP), which is historically known as World Zone 1, as an N11 code. It’s a three-digit dialing code used in abbreviated dialing in the said plan. This kind of dialing code provides access to special local services, for example, 211 (community services and information) and probably best known (at least for countries outside of the US) 911 (emergency services). 

#4

I was the caller. My deck had a couple unsafe spots. Normally I avoided them just fine, but on this night, it had snowed. I stepped outside for just a minute, because snow is very rare here. In doing so, I forgot about the unsafe spots. I stepped on one, and my leg dropped through.

As I fell, the boards on either side of my leg bent, but then retracted. The hole was smaller than my knee now. I couldn’t get out.

My girlfriend got me a coat to sit on, because my butt was already starting to get cold, and we called 911. Fortunately, I live so close to the fire department, they were there in less than 3 minutes. I live so close, had I Wilhelm screamed as I fell, they’d have likely heard me and arrived even faster.

But four super strong firemen couldn’t pull me out either, and I will add to that, that I think the first half of this sentence would be fairly humorous out of context. Anyway, one of them went to get a chainsaw out of the fire truck, and while we waited, I started singing “The Pit” from Parks and Rec, and they all joined in with me, and we had a good laugh about my situation.

Other than having a sore, purple leg for a few days, I was fine. I bought them all coffee a few days later. Super fun guys. 10/10. Would definitely be rescued by them again.

#5

Not 911 but worked for animal control dispatch in a tourist town during my senior year in HS. Got a call from a lady that had called 911 previously and was told to call our number. Picked up the phone to what sounded like a whole car of very panicked people all yelling at once. After asking what was wrong several times I finally heard someone yell "a deer! There's a deer in somebody's yard, yall gotta come pick it up!" Thinking it was a dead deer/road kill I said an animal control officer would come pick up the body soon. And a kid in the background starts bawling saying the officer was gonna kill it! So I paused for a second and asked is the deer alive? What is it doing? Someone far away from the phone yelled "its just sitting there in the yard! So I said "Yeah this is Texas. He lives there. Just don't touch him or get too close and y'all will be ok." Literally not even 5 minutes later we got a call from another tourist about a deer chasing a family after they tried to take a selfie with it.... To this say I'm still not sure if it was the same family, but wow. I hope it was.

#6

Not the operator but told by an operator friend of mine:

Woman calls up to allege that her car has been sexually soiled by a car washer.
She had left her car with a valet service while she was shopping, picked it up and drove it home before she noticed a white mark on her passenger seat. She’s convinced it was spunk, so she calls the police to report it.
Operator asked if she had complained to the company, which she had. They had advised her that the soap they use for fabrics sometimes leaves a mark when it dries and if she just gives it a quick rub, it will go.
She then tells the operator that she knows the company is lying because she put her finger on it and then tasted it, and it was definitely spunk and she “knows very well what spunk tastes like.”
Somehow the operator convinced her to complain further to the valeting company and ended the call before falling off his chair laughing.

Great Britain was the first country to establish an emergency telephone number in 1937: 999 or 112. The United States got its emergency number in 1968. The exact number of 911 was chosen based on cost factors, as telephone company equipment could be modified to accept the number, and it was easy to remember. 

The very first time 911 was used was back in February of 1968 in Haleyville, Alabama. In fact, this call, in a way, kind of fits today’s topic: fun 911 calls. It wasn’t used for an emergency but for a show by the Alabama speaker placing the call to give the Alabama Telephone Company bragging rights as the first telephone service provider to implement the new system. 

#7

My kid worked for animal control, we are eating dinner and 911 dispatch calls him. Some panicked lady had called 911 about an owl in a tree that couldn’t fly. It had been sitting in the tree for a half hour not moving. Of course it was just before dusk and the owl was just waiting for dark so it could go hunt for dinner. Then there was the call about the one legged duck at the park...

Edit to add: he actually went to the park to make sure the duck wasn’t injured but realized after 15 minutes how silly he looked chasing after this one legged duck that was outrunning him.

#8

Not an operator but one time I went to a local library to do work as my home was filled with loud guests. I’m there for a couple hours and I saw I had 25 mins left. So I packed all my stuff up and brought it to the bathroom so I could take a s**t, not leave my stuff unattended and the immediately just leave.

Y’all they locked me in.

The librarians thought I left. The whole place was empty and dark. I walked right out the front door, which was locked, and triggered the alarm. Now not to throw race into into it but I’m a big Latino man in a very very white and upper class part of my state. So there was a real sense of fear I had lol. I didn’t want to be caught driving away from this scene in case any Karens were peeping out their windows.

I had to call the cops on myself and explain that I got locked in the library while taking a s**t and the operator is dying. Cops show up and one of them goes, so you like breaking in and taking s**ts huh? I went white as a ghost and started immediately bumbling my words. They brought the whole department out because they thought it was the funniest s**t. Thankfully they were cool and just laughed at my dumba*s.

#9

My mom was a 911 operator in the SF Bay area in the 80s and 90s. I asked her to tell me a story to pass along, so here it is:

I got a 911 call and I couldn't understand the caller. He was slurring his words. I knew he was calling from a bar so I asked if he'd been drinking and after asking many times of asking, I was able to determine that he wanted the police, not an ambulance. He wanted to file assault charges because a woman pulled his tongue. I asked, "how was she able to pull your tongue?" and he said, "because I stuck it out at her." I had to keep muting the call because I was laughing so hard.

Apparently my supervisor went on to play this call in seminars for years and always got a ton of laughter.

Of course, 911 isn’t used in all the countries in the world. Another common number is 112, which is commonly available in many European Union and European countries, some Asian and African countries, and in the Australian region. 

Prank calls to emergency numbers aren't a rare thing. Yet, it should be noted that, in some cases, making a false call to such a number can land a person in quite serious legal trouble. 

For example, in California, it’s illegal to make a fake 911 call, and a person who does it can end up with a punishment of something like one year in county jail or a $1,000 fine, depending on how severe the consequences of a false report are. 

But not all funny calls are false. Just take a look at our list. Sometimes, the situations are just funny. And while maybe they're scary enough for the people involved to be calling an emergency number, they make for a funny story later on, especially for dispatchers. 

Do you know any fun stories related to emergency calls? Don't shy away from sharing them in the comments!