28 professions that aren't as cool as everyone thinks

If you think that the work of a paleontologist is a complete adventure, and a lifeguard on the beach is an episode of "Rescuers of Malibu", then you will be very disappointed. In one Reddit community, we were asked to name professions that in practice are not as cool as everyone thinks, and here are the 28 best responses from tens of thousands of comments.

Not an amateur, but a person who has his own business. This sucks all the joy out of the work, because I started doing this to take photos, and in fact I get a scandalous aunt who did not like how she looks in one picture, and now she demands money for this photo shoot, free reshoots and at the same time keep all these photos.

And then two schoolboys, who decided to get married at exactly 18 years old, want to hire you to shoot the wedding, but they don't have enough money. And then that aunt calls back with an offer to still pay for the reshoot, but only if I shoot her daughter's wedding for free. And then the bride, whose wedding took place two weeks ago, calls: WHERE ARE THE PHOTOS???

Then some instagrammer who considers herself an "influencer" offers a "collaboration" in which she is photographed, and she puts insta filters on the pictures and tells everyone that they were made by a friend. She's not going to pay for it. And then some yazhemat offers for a penny to photograph her newborn every day for the first year of life. Anyway, now I'm an amateur photographer again.

It's not as difficult as working at a zoo, but I'm amazed at the number of people who take shelter or come as volunteers, expecting to play with their pups all day. We are essentially animal servants.

You have to deal with animals with very different characters and at different stages of development, which are everywhere shitting and pissing. At some point you turn around and see a dog named Chumbawumba swimming in his water bowl, and six times a day you have to change his water and dry the cage, and then go to the room with the cats to wash the floor, where ten kittens try to eat a mop, and four more visitors shout that someone threw up on the floor, and you need to clean it IMMEDIATELY.

Not to mention the other backstage stuff that people never see. For example, in the summer, during the season of kittens and puppies, there are 750 animals in a shelter for 500 animals, and I have never sat down or had lunch for six days on shift. How the animal control service shows up on the doorstep with the fourth pregnant stray in a week, but the kennel is packed, so a colleague takes the cats for himself. Not to mention the f** * ing people who are scratched/bitten because of their own stupidity, and the animal gets it for it.

But I love my job, even when it's incredibly hard. Today I never sat down for 9 and a half hours and found a cat's poop in the cuff of my jeans, but I don't care, because today two adult cats were taken from the shelter to the same house, which became attached to each other. It's worth it.

I'm a marine biologist. I've been measuring unfrozen fish heads for the last week.

No, you don't play the finished product all day long. You go through the same level again and again, trying to catch a bug.

Joke. No one thinks this profession is cool.

All this gloss and gloss that is shown on TV and in Netflix programs is far from what is actually happening in the industry. These aren't stylish dishes and tattooed/cool guys who work for themselves. This is alcoholism, drug addiction and a work environment that violates the law, which is beneficial only to the owners of the restaurant.

People imagine a mysterious figure in a hood who enters a couple of lines of code and gets access to super-secret files. In real life, this profession is 10% of writing code and 90% of finding a solution to a problem on Stack Overflow.

Veterinarians have the highest suicide rate of any profession. Most of the time, you're talking to people about money, not saving animals. And when you save them, not all animals are grateful to you for it and try to bite, because you hurt them, and they do not understand that it is in their own interests. And among the clients there are freaks who try to manipulate you.

I thought I was going to play with the dogs all day. Instead, I spend five hours a day wiping off the diarrhea, and the remaining 3 don't give small dogs a f***t.

In this work, there are not only books and complete silence. There are also infinite tables.

Coming to work at 3 or 4 in the morning, so that the pastries are ready by six, is terrible.

Don't get me wrong, spending time in the company of amazing animals and taking care of them is great, but... the stench is incredibly, insanely disgusting. I have a strong stomach, but it's still very hard, several interns have quit because of it. When I first entered the profession, I was warned about the stench, but I thought:

No. I didn't even know it.

The same repetitive scenario, you put the same things in the same places, give the same clues to the same riddles. Clients – families who constantly argue, impatient impatient teenagers, drunk students and idiots who break and touch the f** * y that they were SPECIFICALLY ASKED NOT TO TOUCH. They never remember what they are told in the beginning. If one team breaks something, you need to fix it as quickly as possible before the next one comes.

I'm a forensic scientist, and that's literally the only thing I get asked about on dating apps. This is a technical and extremely routine job.

Everyone thinks it's like in "Malibu Lifeguards," and all you do is save people. In fact, you just sit in one place, blow the whistle, and ask the kids to stop freaking out.

People think that this work is all about shouting " Eureka! "rather than"this data will have to be processed manually for 600 hours before it can be analyzed."

Everyone dreams of smashing something with a sledgehammer. Everyone gets tired of lifting this sledgehammer on the fifth stroke. And no one wants to collect the debris in bags or wheelbarrows and drag them to the trash.

No, you will not work with whole dinosaur skeletons and go on all sorts of cool expeditions. Most of the time you sit at a desk, looking at photos and typing data into a computer; maybe occasionally you study a fossil. If you're lucky, you'll go on a real dig and SPEND A FEW HOURS BRUSHING THE DUST OFF THE ROCKS UNDER THE SCORCHING SUN, WOW!!

"Wow, the case has finally come to trial! Damn it, the other party didn't show up for the meeting. See you in three months."

You are alone in the car for 8 hours a day or more, you can not take an extra break, you need to constantly be focused (or you will crash an expensive car with expensive equipment), you end up becoming an amateur meteorologist, because you need to constantly monitor weather conditions and clouds, and, in my experience, you annoy a lot of people who are angry at you, at Google and at this job in general. I loved doing it, but it wasn't nearly as exciting and glamorous as my friends and family imagined.

All those we see in movies and on television are 0.0001% of the incredibly lucky and talented people who managed to break through in a hostile and crowded industry. And even if you managed to find a job, 99% of the time you sit on a box in hot makeup and wait for the lights to be adjusted. And then you repeat the same three lines in front of the camera for an hour, and that's the end of it.

All day long, you listen to 50 people play 50 different tunes very clumsily at the same time, as if they are performing at their own concert.

This is a hard and thankless way to earn a living: without days off and without a boss to cry to. You: My father is in the hospital, he is very ill, can I take a couple of days off?

Hacking something is not as fast and easy as it is shown in the movies. Yes, it's a great field, but most of the time you're either looking for information or you're bored out of your mind, especially if you work for a government organization.

People think that only supermodels buy underwear, but in fact most of the customers are dissatisfied aunts.

As a child, I loved airplanes, spaceships, cars, motorcycles, everything mechanical and electric, and I was interested in knowing how it all works. In reality, I sit at the table, at best creating sub-components and solving problems that arise when they do not work with another component of the final product. Most engineers don't use even half of what their higher education has taught them.

Because children are energy vampires.

I thought it was a dream job. But after uni, I was only able to get a job at a content factory as a blog author. I worked 70 hours a week, sitting in the basement of a former bank building, watching the monitor and scribbling stupid articles about the dangers of mold, how to clean the fence and why you need an advertising canopy. The dream turned into a nightmare.