17 People Who Somehow Injured Themselves In The Most Stupid Ways Possible Share What Happened

As much as you try to avoid injury, there are times when pain just comes to you. Fate decides to play a cruel game at your expense, hurting you in ways you probably never imagined. 

These people would know. They were generous enough to share their answers to this Reddit question: “What’s the stupidest way you’ve injured yourself?” Someone cut their hand on a frozen chicken nugget, while another unfortunate soul had a dog fall on their head from a third-floor balcony. 

Scroll down and read through these stories. Some are almost cartoonish, while others may make you cringe out of empathy. Try not to laugh too hard because it is still someone’s pain, after all.

17 PHOTOS

#1

Got my arm caught up in my top when getting changed and in yanking it out, punched myself in the mouth and burst my lip.

#2

Cut my hand on a broken, frozen chicken nugget.

Edit: This is by far the most upvoted comment I've ever made, so thanks.
My first job was in a chip shop. I had to get some nuggets out of one of the giant, overloaded, and frosty stand-up freezers. I plunged my hand into the box and when it came out there was blood everywhere. When I scraped some of the contents out, there was a nugget that had broken so had a glass shard-like edge.
I had to sit down for 5 minutes whilst the bleeding stopped. It seemed pretty daft at the time and it would appear that about a thousand people on the Internet seemed to agree.

#3

I once inverted a loft ladder into the loft, lay on it, and said "Thunderbirds are going", released the latch and ejected myself out of the loft onto the concrete floor below.

#4

Slipped a disk in my neck because my cat made me jump

Had the wind close an iron gate onto my head

Had a wasp fly into my face when I was standing at the top of the stairs and ended up at the bottom of the stairs a lot quicker than I would have liked

Tripped up on my own feet in an attic bedroom and ended up on the landing, fell 8 foot flat onto my back

When fishing I badly messed up a cast and got a hook stuck in my a**e cheek

Think I will stop there, or this post could go on for a while

#5

Broke a light fitting and got an electric shock trying to remove it. Called an electrician, and showed him what the problem was by touching the fitting again.

#6

Lying in bed, sneezed, and threw my back out.

#7

Paper cut both of my eyeballs when I was tickling my eyelashes with the edge of a magazine as I watched TV (why, I don't know). Our dog next to me barked, made me jump, and shoved the edges of the pages into my eyes.
I think the Dr at the hospital was even judging my stupidity.

#8

Tried to take painkillers for a bad headache at work, somehow managed to slice my finger on the foil from the tablet blister pack (like an overpowered paper cut), and bled all over my desk and keyboard. A colleague helpfully said, "At least you've already had painkillers".

#9

A dog fell off a 3rd-floor balcony and landed on my head.

Knocked me onto the iron gate of our ground floor flat and I fractured my jaw.

#10

Trying to be all arty farty and sharpening my pencil with a craft knife. Yes, I sliced open my thumb, fainted at the gushing blood, fell to the floor, and stabbed myself.

I always use a pencil sharpener now.

EDIT::: Oh my! Thanks so much for the Gold Award! This has made my day :).

#11

I'm a wheelchair user and I once tried to show off in a club by getting up this pretty big step to dance on the raised area. Fell backwards and punched the floor when I landed, breaking my hand (though I didn't realise it until the next day)

About 2 minutes later my partner tried to do the same thing and got a nearly identical injury

Who could have predicted that taking a GIANT step (like 4x the size of a curb) with no run-up, on a slippy dance floor with slippy wheels, and nothing to grab onto, could have POSSIBLY gone wrong.... not us?

#12

I was removing the liquidizer blade from a stick blender and it was still plugged in. I said to myself with a loud inner voice - "DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON" The other half of my brain heard it as "Press the button" so I did.

It wasn't so bad as the blade got stuck on the bone and didn't liquidize my finger but I couldn't bring myself to look at it until my wife, as if addressing a small child, made me.

#13

When I was a teenager I was lying down in my hallway doing art coursework with a pillow underneath my elbows. Had the whole house in complete darkness apart from a small light on behind me. The phone rang and as I ran to answer it got my foot caught in my laptop wire, ripping it out from the wall, getting my balance, and then tripping over the f*****g pillow. Broke 3 toes and had to crawl across the floor to see who had rung.

#14

Three spring to mind.

The first - I was grabbing a can of polish from under the sink and when I pulled it out, I jerked my arm too viciously and smacked myself in the face. Gave myself a black eye and a headache.

The second - at work, I was taking some money out of the till to put in the safe. Had to be quick as it was super busy. Grabbed the Dosh, ran to the coded door, put the wrong code in, and rather than push the door open, I walked right into it...it didn't open because I put the wrong code in. Another black eye and eyebrow piercing bled, and I smacked my head so hard into the door that I gave myself a concussion and had to go home.

The third - in college, a friend and I decided to bunk off for the day and make a cake. My mum had an electric mixer stick thing and I was showing my friend K how to scrape the excess mixture out of the hollow bit where the blade sits without hurting yourself. She was holding the stick so we could both see it...and she turned it on with my finger still inside. It didn't sever the finger, but now my left index finger has a big scar and no feeling in the place above where the blade hit. After we got to the hospital and got everything sorted, she said to me "do you think we could still make cake with the batter if we scoop your blood out of it?" No, Kirk. No.

I am one of the clumsiest people alive and fall down the stairs almost every day, so there's probably more but those are the 3 that I think of regularly.

#15

Where to start…

Stabbed myself in the foot with a garden fork while aggressively aerating my garden. Figured ouch but it’ll be fine. The next day it was twice the size and a very ugly shade of purple. Ended up in A&E on an antibiotic drip plus a course of antibiotics to take home and a tetanus jab.

Sawed my thumb with a bow saw.

Chopped the same thumb on the same day with an axe. Luckily I was only a kid at that point so not strong enough to do any serious damage.

Took the front of my shin right off trying to vault a wall, I could see the bone. Also as a kid.

As an adult, I was taking a pizza out of the oven. Had a pizza stone with a metal cradle. Foolishly lifted the cradle away wearing oven gloves which had no grip and it swung round and landed on my forearm; it was a pretty nasty burn that also needed hospital attention.

There’s more, but you get the idea.

ETA I also stabbed myself in the hand separating frozen burgers with a kitchen knife. The tip of the knife came right out of the other side of my hand. Luckily it went between my metacarpals otherwise that could’ve been lasting damage.

All in all, I think I’m pretty lucky to be alive, but pretty damn stupid for not learning from any of it.

#16

I was playing cricket and at tea, I was walking back from the clubhouse, fell over fresh air and trying to protect my pork pies & vital goodies I broke 2 fingers.

#17

Split my groin and d**k open as a teenager by crashing a BMX into the ground after flying off the top of a half pipe and cocking up the landing.