What is "Spanish shame" and why we experience it
The feeling like "Spanish shame", that is, an irrational sense of unease for the actions of other people, is familiar to many. This feeling can be, watching the actions of others, the actions of the characters in the film, and even just thinking about someone's behavior. If the definition of this phenomenon is more or less clear, then with its nature is much more complicated.
Despite the fact that the concept of this brand is international in Russian language it came from the English that sounded like Spanish shame. In the Spanish language it looks specifically vergüenza ajena, that is "a shame for the other." What makes people around the world, "to be ashamed of the other" best tell psychologists.
Psychologist Arina Lipkin says that the feeling of embarrassment for others is quite normal and is easily explained from the point of view of science phenomenon.
This, too, everything seems clear. But why should we have to feel bad because someone made a mistake or stupidity? This question we asked a psychologist, Hoping the Pylaeva, which named several reasons why we are facing this phenomenon.
1. We are too demanding of himself and forbid myself to look stupid or embarrassing. The force of the ban is so powerful that we even hard to look at the mistakes of other people. This is one of the signs that we can't accept ourselves, with all their weaknesses and shortcomings.
These settings and restrictions do not appear suddenly and stretch us from childhood. We can buy them throughout life. Remember that shame is not an innate emotion and we learn to be ashamed of in age from 3 to 7 years. In the formation of shame plays a major role censure of others. Over time, the shame can turn from a natural reaction to the events around us in a constant internal state.
2. We take responsibility for other people's actions. Watching the actions of others, we can feel involvement and often believe that somehow unable to influence events. People who find themselves in an awkward situation can be perceived by us as guilty of a violation of vowel and unspoken rules of society.
Psychotherapist Julia Prihodko explains this aspect of the problem in the following way:
3. The instinctive fear of rejection. It is well known that in ancient times the exile of the tribe was the most severe punishment, sometimes equated with death. Fear that you or another person can be rejected by society because of some misconduct, continues to live inside us and sometimes manifests itself in shame for others.
4. Identification with other people. We can relate themselves to the same group as the person who committed a stupid act on screen or in real life. Therefore, in their eyes, we are not too good, but not have any relation to the act that caused "Spanish shame".
It is not necessary to be ashamed family member, friend or colleague. This phenomenon explains Alain Prihodko from the point of view of modern psychology as:
"Spanish shame" — it's like an excuse. We say his reaction of others — at least I do something similar with this person, but it never did.
Public the errors of others can cause us varying degrees of discomfort. This is due to different levels of empathy — than above, the more likely that we will be ashamed of other people. Employees of the University of lübeck (Germany) found that all because of our tendency to empathize. The higher it is, the more we want to protect from the awkward situation the other person.
By the way, this is most evident when watching Comedy films and reality shows. Some excruciating awkwardness, shame watching the movie characters or members of the program, while others scoff, feeding your self-esteem.
Keywords: The film | Society | Shame | Psychology | Transmission | Awkward experts