"My mom had an abortion at the 8th month, but I survived": Melissa Auden was able to forgive and wrote a book
On August 29, 1977, a girl weighing just over a kilogram in wires and tubes was lying in a newborn unit. But there were no worried parents nearby, holding the baby by the hand, desperately wanting her to survive. Melissa Ohden's mother left the hospital in Iowa, believing that the child died as a result of a salt abortion, which she performed in the eighth month of pregnancy.
The abortion was unsuccessful, but Melissa's mother had no idea for 36 years that the child had survived. After Melissa found out about the dramatic beginning of her life, she spent almost two decades trying to find answers, and found out that the biological mother did not want to have an abortion.
Melissa also learned that she owed her life to a nurse who heard the faint cry of a child discarded as medical waste. In a series of horrific details, it turned out that another nurse was on duty that day, who instructed others to "leave the child in the room to die." Amazingly, this nurse was the baby's grandmother.
Having learned this about his life, another person would have become embittered and cruel. But Melissa, who was adopted by a loving family, reunited with her biological mother in 2016 and found the strength to forgive.
Doctors at Sioux City Hospital in Iowa estimated that Melissa's mother was 31 weeks pregnant when she had a saline abortion - a method that is no longer used in the United States and Great Britain. Melissa suffered from jaundice, respiratory disorders and seizures. It was expected that even if she survived, she would have problems with vision, hearing and developmental delays.
Three weeks later, the girl was transferred to a hospital in Iowa City. The nurses who took care of the baby gave her clothes and booties. One of the nurses, Mary, decided that the newborn should be given a name, and called her Katie Rose. At the age of three months, the baby left the hospital. She was adopted by Linda and Ron Auden. Previously, the couple adopted a girl, Tammy, four years older than Melissa.
For many years, her foster parents and nurse Mary kept in touch, exchanging postcards, letters and photos. When Melissa grew up, she began to communicate with Mary herself.
By the age of five, Melissa had caught up with the development of her peers and was completely healthy.
Parents have never hidden from their daughters that they are adopted.
Melissa spent most of her teenage years with a huge emotional burden, she developed bulimia, and she became addicted to sex and alcohol.
Melissa gathered her strength and left to study political science in University of South Dakota. She later found out that her biological mother was there too. Surprisingly, Melissa's grandmother, the same woman who caused the girl's mother to have an abortion, worked as a professor at the university where Melissa studied.
At the age of 19, the desire to learn more about the past simply ate Melissa, and she began to look for biological parents. There was little information in the adoption documents, and the girl moved back to Sioux City to be closer to archival records. Melissa spent her time reading newspapers, phone books and yearbooks in search of someone who would look like her biological mother. Melissa even placed an ad in the newspaper in search of information. But all efforts were not crowned with success. However, after years of fruitless searching, Melissa finally found a clue.
Melissa sent her a letter, but Grandpa answered.
Melissa gave up the search for a while. By that time, she was already married to Ryan. Now they have two daughters, Melissa gave birth to the eldest in the same hospital where she was born.
When Melissa was 36, her biological mother's cousin contacted her. He said that her parents were college students.
Melissa wondered how it was possible to adopt her without her mother's consent, and came to the conclusion that the signature was simply forged.
Finally, after 17 years of searching, her mother's cousin helped Melissa contact her.
Melissa found out that her grandmother passed away a few years ago. She also found out that she has two stepsisters. Melissa has already met with one of them, and plans to meet with the other in the near future. She has seen her mother several times and maintains constant contact with her.
Melissa has published a book about her life and founded a community of abortion survivors to support those who find themselves in the same situation.
"I keep in touch with 223 abortion survivors, mostly from the USA. Thanks to faith, I learned to forgive. It doesn't make what happened good, but it frees you from the pain. We are all human, and we all make mistakes."