A letter from a girl dying of cancer that will change your attitude to life
Several years have passed since 27-year-old Holly Butcher passed away in Australia - the girl died of a rare form of cancer. The day before, she published a letter on Facebook addressed to the whole world. The touching message of the girl cannot leave indifferent even the most seasoned skeptic. More than 180 thousand people shared it.
The girl admitted that the disease made her learn to appreciate every day and every minute spent with family and friends. We publish excerpts from the letter because everyone should read it.
Holly Butcher lived in Grafton, New South Wales (Australia) and died of Ewing's sarcoma, a rare form of cancer that mostly affects young people. She fought a serious illness for a whole year, but she did not manage to win. Now her latest post has become a viral sensation all over the world. Her simple and wise words resonate with thousands of hearts.
Some life advice from Holly.
It is very strange to be aware and accept your mortality when you are only 26 years old. Usually people at this age simply ignore the fact of death. Days pass by, and it seems that it will always be like this, until the unexpected happens. I always imagined that someday I would be old, gray and wrinkled, that I would have a wonderful family (with lots of children) that I planned to build with the love of my life. I still want it so badly that it hurts.
The main thing about life: it is fragile, precious and unpredictable. And each new day is a gift, not a given.
Now I'm 27. I don't want to die. I love my life. I am happy… This is the merit of my loved ones. But I don't decide anymore.
I'm not writing this "suicide note" to make you afraid of death - I like that we are practically unaware of its inevitability ... I want to talk about death, because it is treated as a taboo, as something that never happens to anyone. True, it's pretty hard. I just want people to stop worrying about the small, insignificant annoyances in their lives and try to remember that the same fate awaits us all. It is better to make your life worthy and good, and discard all nonsense.
I've put a lot of thoughts down below because I've had time to think in recent months. Of course, all these random thoughts most often climb into the head in the middle of the night!
When you feel like whining about stupid things (I've been seeing this more and more in the last couple of months), just think of someone who's really in trouble right now. Say thank you that your "problem" is actually a minor problem, and don't worry. It is clear that some things get you, but do not get hung up on them and spoil the mood of everyone around you.
Now go outside, take a deep breath of the fresh Australian air, see how blue the sky is and how green the trees are, how beautiful everything is. Think how lucky you are to be able to just breathe.
Maybe today you are stuck in a traffic jam, have not slept well because the child did not let you close your eyes. Maybe the hairdresser cut your hair too short or your false nails broke off. Maybe your breasts are too small or cellulite has appeared, and your tummy has become larger than you would like.
Kill it. I guarantee you, when it's your turn to leave, you won't even remember all these things. They will seem SO small when you take a last look at your life. I watch my body stop working before my eyes and there is nothing I can do about it. I just want to celebrate another birthday or Christmas with my family, spend another day with my loved one and dog. Just another day.
I listen to people complain about the job they hate, how hard it is to force yourself to go to the gym - be thankful you can go there at all. Opportunities to work and play sports seem so mundane... until your body forces you to give them up.
I tried to lead a healthy life - perhaps that was my main goal. Appreciate your health and working body, even if it is not in perfect shape. Take care of him and admire him. Look at it and be glad how wonderful it is. Get moving and treat him to good food. And don't worry about it.
Remember that good health is not only about the physical shell. Work just as hard to find mental, emotional, and spiritual happiness. So maybe you will understand how unimportant and insignificant it is whether you have this idiotic “ideal” body that social media imposes on us or not. By the way, while we're on the subject, unfollow all social media accounts that make you feel disgusted with yourself. Even from friends... Relentlessly defend your right to well-being.
Be thankful for every day without pain, and even for the days when you lie at home with a cold, hold on to an aching back or a sprained ankle. Accept it, but be glad that this pain is not life threatening and will pass.
Whine less people! And help each other more.
Give more! The truth is that it is much more enjoyable to do something for others than for yourself. I regret not doing enough. Since I got sick, I have met incredibly kind and selfless people, received many of the warmest and most caring words and actions from relatives, friends and strangers. Much more than I could give back. I will never forget this and will be eternally grateful to all these people.
It's a strange feeling when you still have unspent money at the end ... and you will soon die. At a time like this, you won't go shopping for some material things like you used to, like a new dress. You can't help thinking how stupid it is that we spend so much money on new clothes and other "things".
Instead of another dress, cosmetics or some trinkets, it is better to buy something wonderful for your friends. First, no one cares if you wear the same thing twice. Second: from this you get incredible sensations. Invite your friends over for dinner - or better yet, cook for them yourself. Bring them coffee. Give them a plant, give them a massage, or buy them a pretty candle and tell them you love them when you give them a gift.
Appreciate other people's time. Don't make others wait because of your lack of punctuality. If you're always late, start getting ready early and realize that your friends want to hang out with you instead of sitting around waiting for you to show up. You will only be respected for this! Amen, sisters!
This year we agreed to do without gifts, and although the Christmas tree looked rather sad, it was still great. Because people did not spend time shopping, but more thoughtfully approached the choice or creation of postcards. Plus, imagine how my family is trying to choose a gift for me, knowing that, most likely, it will remain the same ... It may seem strange, but ordinary cards mean more to me than any impulsive purchases. Of course, it was easier for us to do this - there are no small children in the house. But in any case, the moral of this story is that gifts are not needed for a full-fledged Christmas. Let's go further.
Spend money on experiences. Or at least don't leave yourself without feelings, spending all your money on material rubbish.
Get serious about any trip, even a trip to the beach nearby. Dip your feet in the sea, feel the sand between your toes. Wash with salt water. Be more often in nature.
Try to just enjoy the moment instead of trying to capture it with your camera or smartphone. Life is not meant to be lived on screen, and it's not meant to be the perfect photo... enjoy the fucking moment! No need to try to capture it for everyone else.
A rhetorical question. Are those few hours spent on hair and makeup every day really worth it? I never understood this in women.
Wake up early sometimes and listen to the birds singing while admiring the beautiful colors of the rising sun.
Listen to music... really listen. Music is therapy. The best is the old one.
Play with your dog. In the next world, I will miss this.
Talk to friends. Put your phone away. They are fine?
Travel if you feel like it. If not, don't travel.
Work to live, don't live to work.
Seriously, do what makes you happy.
Eat some cake. And don't beat yourself up about it.
Say "no" to everything you don't want to do.
Do not follow other people's ideas about what a "full life" is ... Maybe you want an ordinary life for yourself - there is nothing wrong with that.
Tell your loved ones that you love them as often as possible and love them with all your might.
Remember that if something makes you an unhappy person, it is in your power to change it - be it in work, love or in something else. Have the courage to change it. You don't know how much time you have in this life, don't waste it being unhappy. I know you've heard this a hundred times, but it's the purest truth.
And in any case, these are just the lessons of the life of one girl. Accept them...or not - I don't mind!
Oh, and one more thing! If you can, do a good deed for humanity (and me) - start donating blood regularly. You will feel good, and the lives saved are a nice bonus. Each blood donation can save three lives! Anyone can do it and it takes so little effort!
Donating blood helped me get through an extra year. A year with my family, friends and dog. The year in which I lived my best moments. A year for which I will forever be grateful...
…until we meet again.
Holly