16 Customer Reviews So Funny, You'll Forget What You Were Shopping For
Online shopping is an adventure in itself, but sometimes the real entertainment lies not in the products, but in the reviews. From epic fails to unexpected wins, the opinions of fellow shoppers can be just as hilarious as they are informative. Buckle up, because we've rounded up 16 of the funniest product reviews that will have you rolling on the floor laughing (and maybe reconsidering that impulse purchase). These next few reviews prove that sometimes, the most mundane products can inspire the most epic (and hilarious) customer rants to tickle your funny bone but be warned, you might be inspired to try some of these for yourself...
16 PHOTOS
#1 Smarty Stop Sugar-Free Gummy Bears Sound Like A Good Idea Until Your Stomach Tells You Otherwise
Review: "10 out of 10. Would by again. Haven't pooped for a few days. Had 8 of these and out came a bologna sandwich from 2nd grade. I mean, if you want to impress your friends or a date, shovel down a handful of these an hour beforehand and your cheeks will be clapping like it just saw a premiere Broadway show in the front row. It'll let you have the whole bed at night if you're the first to get in bed. The wife says my farts are louder and longer than my snoring. You'll send sonar signals to the other toilets in the house. If you're lucky, someone will be on that toilet and you'll give them a little splash. Again 10 out of 10." - Robert Jordan
#2 This Grandma With An Inhaler Sticker Offers Excellent Company!
Review: "At first I wasn't sure if spending money on a sticker of an old lady with an inhaler was a good idea but once I got it I knew I had made the right choice. She keeps me company in my apartment since I don't have any actual friends, we eat, play board games, and watch tv together. We have so much in common like our love for breathing and other things. She doesn't argue like real people do and Unlike a girlfriend I don't have to take her on dates, worry about keeping her happy and she doesn't nag me for money. Overall I am 100% satisfied with my purchase." - Andy
#3 Don't Expect These "For Her" Retractable Gel Pens To Do Much Other Than Just Be A Writing Implement
Review: "I got these pens partly because people made fun of the fact that they were for women. I got them to write anti-feminist articles. I thought if I bought them I might get good at things like vacuuming washing dishes and decorating. The pens work great but I'm still not very good at homemaking. Dang." - Linda
#4 This Giant Jar Of Glitter Is The Cheapest And Most Despicable Form Of Revenge
Review: So I wake up in the middle of the night in my 2-bedroom apartment. I find my roommate passed out face down on the wooden floor. I think nothing of it and go back to sleep. The next morning I wake up to go to work and there is a homeless guy asleep on my couch. My roommate woke up still drunk and had made friends with a bum. And this is the second time he let a stranger off the street just stroll in and pass out. Great.
You are probably thinking what does this have to do with my art and crafting?
Well, I bought this product and proceeded to cover everything my roommate owns in glitter. Every T-shirt, every book, every pair of shoes, his bed... I covered his entire life in glitter. He will have glitter in every crevice of his existence until he dies.
Did some track out all over my apartment? yes.
Does the carpet look like a care bear farted all over it? Yes.
Did he threaten to kill me? Sure.
But will he ever let another stranger sleep on the couch? No
Will I ever have to worry about a random guy off the street murdering me in the night? No
All the security for just $12.44. Unbelievable Staggering Value. Cannot recommend enough." - Brian Spatz
#5 If You Are A Repsonsible Paw-Rent, You Will Consider Getting This "How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety" Book To Educate Your Felines
Review: "I have to admit I am a bit of a reluctant cat owner. However, I've realized that I can't put off some of these conversations any longer. This book helped give me the tools I needed to have hard conversations with my cat. The chapters on abstinence, while a little uncomfortable, or particularly cogent to our cat's experience. This book has saved my relationship with my cat and I cannot recommend it enough. This morning I found him reading it when I woke up and it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much to the author and everyone who helped create this book, you are doing God's work." - Michael Tallino
#6 If You Ever Need To Get Out Of A Pickle In A Flash, Fart Spray Is Your Saving Grace
Review: "Got stopped by the police. I already knew why he got me (speeding) but of course, I was gonna ask him why he stopped me. I don’t have any extra money to give them so I decided to test my luck and humor. About a week ago, I purchased some fart spray and tried it on my wife, but wanted to see just how far I could push it. The bottle says to squirt about 2 sprays. Well as the policeman walked toward my vehicle I sprayed about 5 squirts. He gets to my window and asks me to get out. I said I can’t! He immediately stops in his tracks and he says lawd...what’s that? I said I have IBS and I've had an accident, sir! The look on his face was priceless. I said Sir my stomach hurts and I’m trying to get home because I.... (he was at my window and I didn't even finish my sentence) He grabbed his face, backed up, and says... Omg.. I think you need an ambulance. I said no (of course trying not to laugh...he looked worried and sick ) I live right around the corner.
Policeman: YES SIR BE CAREFUL AND TRY NOT TO SPEED BUT I UNDERSTAND ITS AWFUL. HOLD ON. I’LL ESCORT YOU!
Yall, I didn't expect it to go this way but the police waited til I got out of the car (he stayed in his) so I had to walk to my door with my butt cheeks clenched and limpin’ like I was hurtin’!
Moral of the story: Don’t have one ...but I’m going to buy a case of that fart spray. No ticket written!" - Sean C.
#7 The Only Thing Missing From Our Morning Routine Was A Smiling Life-Sized Danny Devito Cutout At The Foot Of Our Bed
Review: "What better way to start your morning than Danny Devito standing at your bed frame? His glorious partially balding head shines the sun from the window right into your eyes. It's almost like kissing an angel. If the angel was disgusting and short." - Isaac
#8 We Bet You Didn't Know Your Protest Was Missing A Pack Of 72 Kazoos
Review: "They're crap, but it's quantity over quality. passed them out at a protest against the Westboro baptist church to drown them out. not the loudest on their own, but when you've got 70 odd angry queers kazooing in unison, well..." - E. Parker
Still not convinced that online reviews are the best form of entertainment? These next few reviews will prove you wrong. Get ready to laugh until your cheeks hurt as you delve into a world of unexpected twists, hilarious misunderstandings, and brutally honest opinions.
#9 The Versatility Of This Maternity Photoshoot Dress Knows No Bounds
Review: "My wife bought this for our pregnancy announcement and it was too big. I saw my opportunity and I knew what I had to do.
This dress does it all!
Do you want to feel pretty? Check
Majestic? Sure
Pregnant? Of course
Hot? It's lit fam
I'd rate this a perfect 5/5, I'm not sure how it works for the ladies but it made me feel like a queen." - Gil
#10 Who Ever Though A Humble Banana Slicer Could Save A Marriage?
Review: "What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?" and of course, "You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12-hour shift just to come home to THIS?!" These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That's when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we've even incorporated it into our lovemaking. THANKS 571B BANANA SLICER!" - Mrs T
#11 Who Knew A Penguin Mask Could Be A Great Source Of Great Trauma For Kids!
Review: "I wear this mask to sing lullabies to my children. They are terrified of the mask. Whenever they protest about their bedtime or ask for too many sweets, I whip on the mask, and they soon know who is King Penguin." - Randi Elizabeth
#12 If Your Head Is Roughly The Size Of A Tennisball, This Turtleneck Top Is Made For You
Review: "Well, what can I say? It never occurred to me that there are people out there whose head diameter is the same as their wrist diameter, but apparently, there are. Unfortunately, my wife isn't one of them. It was almost worth keeping just for the laughs. She could not pull the thing over her head. You can see in the photograph what I mean. If you are considering this turtleneck please be aware, they are taking the word 'turtleneck' quite seriously. Am sending it back. Amazon is very good about returns." - James4257
#13 This "How To Eat Cock" Cookbook Will Serve Up Plenty Of Laughs Around The Christmas Tree
Review: "My brother is a huge cock enthusiast so I bought him this book for Christmas. He was extremely impressed by the book, it was thicker than he expected, and he seems to be taking it all in." - Jason Cupkey
#14 This "Crafting With Cat Hair" Book Will Help The Whole World Know You Are A Weirdo At Heart
Review: "I purchased this book as I was tired of people sitting too near me on public transport." - Rico
#15 There Are 72 Reasons This Victorinox Swiss Army Knife Is Better Than A Normal Knife but It's Unclear If Your Bag Is Big Enough To Hold It
Review: "I use this working on the space station and other missions. Gravity is not an issue hence weight is not an issue. Having this many functions on one carry item that I can keep in my chest pouch comes in handy. Especially during exigent and emergent situations. One time I even threw it, striking an asteroid, and was able to deflect the asteroid just enough to keep it from hitting our station. Bottom line... It saves lives!" - Keith Miller
#16 Wow! We Can't Believe It's Not Butter On Top of this Pancake Stack Costume!
Review: "I tried this on in a Walmart several years ago and always regretted not purchasing it. Sometimes I wear it just to remind myself that I can be whatever I want to be, even if I want to be a stack of pancakes. Butter looks real, do not bite, does not taste like butter." - Amazon Customer
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