13 ways to put the manipulator in place
Manipulators are not particularly good at respecting boundaries. They are not interested in the problems, feelings, and situations of other people.
As a result, they are poor listeners who forget 80% of what comes out of your mouth, including conversations that set boundaries.
Manipulators usually have a one-pointed mind that is focused on their needs, desires, and goals. They will go like a tank if you put boundaries in the way of their ambitions.
If you're wondering how to put the manipulator in place, buckle up because we've got a whole dozen suggestions.
13 PHOTOS
1. Don't automatically apologize
Some people apologize too much. Instead, try to let go!
If you didn't do anything wrong, don't apologize. Taking responsibility for someone's bad behavior or actions is not your worldview.
When the manipulators stumble upon someone who is a fountain of apologies, they quickly grab onto him, thinking they might be puppeteers. Stop them by standing your ground.
2. Say "No!"
Manipulators seek subordinate targets. They are more likely to move on to the next mark if you stand up and say no.
Rejection should not be rude. By all means, be polite, but also firm.
3. Minimize contacts
No rule says that you should constantly interact with people you consider toxic. Of course, if this person is your colleague that you have to work, you cannot cut him out of your life. But in such situations, make contact only when absolutely necessary.
If the manipulator realizes that you are trying to keep your distance, he may sense a strong personality and switch to other people.
4. Scattered drama
Manipulators love drama, and creating chaos is their favorite pastime (though they'll swear they're the most laid-back people on the planet).
Why?
Because they like to keep people on their toes. When the drama kicks in, they can make plans and maneuver.
But manipulators usually don't bother people who don't take the bait. So resist the urge to gossip and chat with a potential offender.
5. Don't fix them
People who enjoy manipulating others almost always hate to be corrected. It looks like a threat because they are preoccupied with creating the perfect image.
So, if things are especially tense and the temperature is rising, do not continue the argument. If possible, also try not to correct them. Let the situation calm down and come back to the topic when everything settles down.
6. Work on your self-confidence
Protect yourself from manipulative people by building up your self-esteem.
Self-confidence is one of the best mental health shields. Confident people know who they are. They admit their flaws and weaknesses, which is kryptonite for manipulators.
Confident people don't go crazy with constructive criticism.
The need to "fit in" often undermines our confidence because we crave other people's approval.
But as we live and learn, we find that self-confidence feels just as good as "adjusting to life," if not better. So we stop trying to please everyone else and start creating our own lives.
7. Be self-reliant
One way to avoid confrontation with manipulators is self-confidence. If you manage all your affairs on your own, you will not need to ask for help in the Favor Market.
If someone brings you unsolicited "gifts" at work to curry favor, thank them warmly, but politely explain that you can't accept them.
In a word: stay sweet but neutral.
It's okay to cooperate and coordinate, but don't get entangled in transactional relationships that drain you and cause emotional frustration.
8. Throw in some snarky self
Most manipulative people think they are smarter than you and everyone else. They often throw stinging attacks and expect you not to notice.
So how do you tell someone that you're not interested in being played with and treated condescendingly? When they provoke you, throw some snarky back and keep going.
This will throw them off their pedestal and they will most likely stay away in the future. After all, the availability of an easier target requires less energy.
9. Make eye contact
Manipulating the manipulator is a good idea.
Yes! This confuses them and most find it extremely annoying because they are used to being in control.
One of the easiest ways to manipulate manipulators is to make intense eye contact. This is a trick they use, and reflecting it back can be frustrating for them. Look straight ahead and convey with your eyes that you are not to be trifled with.
10. Be a broken record
The manipulators are coming. If you find one of them floating around, be a broken record. Drain your voice of emotion and explain that you just can't handle their request.
Eventually, they will move on to the next target.
11. Use their name
The strategic use of a person's name in the conversation has its advantages.
In fact, Dale Carnegie, the godfather of self-help, advised readers in How to Win Friends and Influence People to repeat the person's name several times when meeting.
On the other hand, it can be done authoritatively, which signals that you are not the kind of person to be manipulated. While others may not think that you are saying someone's name, the manipulator will take it as a red flag.
12. Ignore them
What happens when you ignore the manipulator? This usually happens in one of two ways:
They are concerned with getting your attention.
They go to someone else.
If you try this tactic, imagine there is a wall between you. Do not answer.
13. Don't let them generalize
Manipulators like to generalize. For example, they might say something like “You ALWAYS do [insert task]!” when in fact you only completed the task once.
When they try to trap you in the verbal web, ask for some examples of how you have completed the task in the past.
We hope our list has given you some ideas on how to stop a manipulator in its tracks.
Remember: the goal is not to be rude, but to get out of their way. After all, the last thing you want is a manipulative simulator that drains your energy.
What do you think about it? Share your thoughts and findings in the comments or ask your own question. And do not forget to subscribe to the channel, here I will tell you a lot of interesting things.
Keywords: Manipulators | Manipulations | Boundaries | Psychology | People | Relationships | Friendships | Feelings | Emotions