What role does the relationship with the father play in the personal life of womenBy Pictolic https://pictolic.com/en/article/what-role-does-the-relationship-with-the-father-play-in-the-personal-life-of-women
It has long been confirmed that we get an example of a relationship between a man and a woman in childhood, looking at our parents. But, as it turned out, it is not only this that affects personal life in the future. In the fate of a woman, her relationship with her father plays a huge role, which lays the foundation for her idea of herself and the role of a man in her life.
Psychologists say that it is the father who forms the daughter's idea of himself and his femininity. Man is a social being, so his awareness of himself as a person is inseparably linked with interaction with others. What we are, our environment tells us, including through the consequences of actions.
Daughters of fathers who have not shown affection and care unconsciously choose life partners with a tough and even aggressive character. Affection and care for such women will always seem undeserved and even suspicious.
Fathers who have given their daughters an awareness of their beauty and femininity through love and affection make them happier in relationships. In the event that fathers constantly tell their daughter about her beauty, charm, uniqueness, as well as admire her successes and support her in difficult moments, all these qualities turn out to be "embedded" in a woman's personality. Their daughters are clearly aware of the limits of what is permissible and can say without hesitation: "You can't do this to me. I deserve better."
This is one of the foundations of the idea of the world around us. Such a woman knows exactly what she wants and what kind of relationship she deserves. She will not contact a tyrant or alphonse — the image of her father, as an ideal, existing in her mind, will not allow her to make such a mistake.
According to Jung's theory, girls already at 3-5 years old begin to compete with their mother for their father's attention. It is this age that is very important, as she learns to "like" men, fight for attention, ask them for gifts. All the skills acquired at this age are very useful and they will be useful in the future life.
An insecure father who is constantly in a state of anxiety for his daughter's future can give the girl a negative attitude that will make her unhappy in the future. She will think that in life you need to go with the flow, get married and not think much about how your life turned out.
Fathers who are prone to excessive guardianship do not give their child the opportunity to take the initiative and choose. Such a parent makes a decision on his own, therefore, the "game" in which the girl learns to like and achieve is excluded from the relationship between father and daughter. The result of such education is often negative — it generates infantile women who are unable to make decisions and take responsibility for their own lives.
Men who have difficult relationships with their mothers also have problems with their wives. They do not have the skills to interact with women and therefore make gross mistakes in the upbringing of their daughters. Such fathers practice the male principle — they set goals for the girl to achieve, do not skimp on praise in case of success and openly express disappointment in case of failure.
In this case, love can become conditional and, in order to earn it, the girl must show achievements and results. In the future, such women do not know how to respond adequately to courtship and care, to accept help. They are domineering, tough and purposeful, often choose weak men for their husbands or even prefer loneliness.
But it also happens that girls grow up without fathers. Alternatively, there is a father, but he does not take part in the upbringing of his daughter due to frequent and long business trips or for any other reasons. Communication with such a dad is built on the principle of "find out how things are".
But the absence of a father does not mean that the girl has nowhere to learn how to interact with men. A stepfather, brother, grandfather, uncle, godfather, family friend and even a teacher or coach may be nearby. There is a special term for such a man in psychology — a significant adult.
Of course, such a man cannot completely replace the girl's father, but his participation in the child's life is often enough to form her future style of communication with men. Therefore, a girl who grew up without a father may well be happy in her personal life in the future.
Finally, I would like to add that the human psyche is a complex and effective mechanism whose task is to preserve the health of the individual. Thanks to this, even in a family with the "wrong" father, it is possible to raise a woman who will have a healthy relationship with men — you just need to make some effort to do this.