TOP 5 prohibitions that will kill any relationshipBy Vika https://pictolic.com/en/article/top-5-prohibitions-that-will-kill-any-relationship
Prohibitions speak of unhealthy relationships. They cause feelings of guilt and can be a sign of emotional abuse. Check what limits your beloved man
Building relationships is no easy task. Even the most tender and loving couples have periods of conflict and misunderstanding. Usually, they begin after the candy-bouquet period, when the romantic flair leaves the relationship and the everyday “lapping” begins. This is the time when partners claim rights to each other and put forward their first demands to each other. These requirements need to be carefully assessed for adequacy. No matter how much you love the person next to you, there are alarm bells that will clearly prevent you from being together. Psychologists identify five prohibitions in a relationship that can destroy any union
1. Communication ban
At the dawn of your relationship, you forgot about friends and girlfriends, spent days and nights together, and could not get enough of each other. However, after a while, you have a completely justified desire to return to the rhythm of life and communication to which you are accustomed. And this is where things get interesting. It turns out that your partner does not at all welcome your gatherings with friends over a cup of a cocktail. Without forbidding directly, he can demonstrate resentment and discontent with his appearance after each of your outings to a friendly meeting.
You begin to feel guilty, and more and more often you are looking for a plausible excuse to give up your favorite bachelorette parties. Stop: Communication is one of the main signs of emotional abuse. It doesn’t matter who you are forbidden to communicate with: with friends, with parents, with men, with work colleagues. These are all manifestations of distrust and a desire to take you under strict control. By protecting you from contact with other people, your partner gains unlimited power over your emotional state. And this means that he can easily manipulate you.
2. Prohibition on clarification of relations
When a friend tells you that she never fights with her boyfriend, it's an occasion to wonder if everything is fine with them. There are no perfect families, just like there are no perfect people. Therefore, quarrels and disputes are one of the main attributes of a healthy relationship. Of course, if the couple is ready to listen to each other and compromise.
If your partner consciously avoids showdown, moves away from any conflict situations, and does not like “these showdowns”, living together in the future will tend to break. You can play the perfect couple for a long time and feign complete understanding, and then quarrel with smithereens because of the color of the wallpaper in the hallway. This is because unspoken grievances do not go anywhere, but accumulate inside and “breakthrough” at the most unexpected moment. To maintain a relationship, learn to express your claims to your partner immediately and solve problems, as they say, as they come.
3. Prohibition against sex
Intimate life in a relationship is often full of prohibitions and taboos, about which it is somehow inconvenient to talk with a partner. One of these restrictions is the firm belief of a woman that a loved one should never be denied sex. However, the myth that “a woman should always be ready” only destroys trust and understanding, turning sex into a real marital duty.
Remember that sex should always be consensual. And the right to refuse it is always there not only for women but also for men. Moreover, it does not even need to come up with good reasons. You can refuse simply because there is no mood. If you are afraid of offending your partner with your refusal, come up with some code words with him in advance that will help smooth out the awkwardness of the situation. If you understand that a quarrel or scandal will follow the refusal, think about it. Such relationships smack of sexual slavery.
4. The ban on personal space
The most obvious manifestation of this inhibition is your partner's craving for reading messages on your phone or constantly monitoring your social media activities. The argument is very simple: if you don't like it, then you have something to hide. In this way, your partner skillfully makes a "substitution of concepts" and disguises his distrust. In fact, this is nothing more than an attempt to establish control over you through the seizure of personal space.
In the same way, it is necessary to regard the partner's constant desire to dictate his own rules in spending time together. For example, you want to read, but he pulls you not for a walk. You want to be alone and "down" in social networks, and he imposes watching a movie and at the same time calls you boring. All this is an encroachment on your personal space when you cannot do what you now want more. You should not sacrifice your desires every time: in such a relationship there is a risk of losing yourself.
5. The ban on being yourself
This ban is the most insidious. It is the least obvious, but at the same time, more than others, it undermines a woman from the inside. It manifests itself in frequent and, at first glance, harmless nit-picking: “here it was necessary to do this, but here it was done differently.” Often a partner makes comparisons with other women, not in your favor, or notes someone's virtues that you cannot boast of. Anything can be the reason here: from small breasts to the inability to cook borscht.
Drop by drop, such nit-picking unbalances. In especially neglected cases, a woman's self-esteem drops, and she ceases to love and respect herself. Think about it: who does your partner want to see next to him? You or an image, an ideal picture from a magazine or from someone else's life? You have every right not to conform to his ideas, to proudly wear small breasts, or not to cook borscht at all. And if you are constantly reproached for this, leave such a relationship first and without looking back.