The incredible story of Melissa ODEN, who survived an abortion, found and forgave his motherBy Pictolic https://pictolic.com/article/the-incredible-story-of-melissa-oden-who-survived-an-abortion-found-and-forgave-his-mother.html
Book Melissa ODEN (Melissa Ohden) "You bore me, or the memoirs of the daughter" ("You Carred Me a daughters memoir") story about the great power of forgiveness, of reconciliation. The story that formed the basis of the biographical novel, shocking the monstrous alienation of native people and great love bystanders.
Life without birth
We are accustomed to the fact that every human life begins at birth. It turns out that not always. Melissa ODEN was born in the result of a saline abortion. 19-year-old student interrupted the pregnancy at the 31st week, at the insistence of his mother-a nurse. She left the hospital in Iowa August 29, 1977, without looking back, believing that he leaves there dead child.
Melissa ODEN — American civil activist, prolifer, human rights activist
As a rule, saline abortion late in the pregnancy leads to the birth of a dead child. Typically, doctors send little body in medical waste. This time the manipulation was unsuccessful. The baby survived. It was a girl who weighed little more than a kilogram. Entangled tubes she lay in the intensive care unit for newborns in solitude. No one was worried about her health. Almost none.
Ironically in that shift were on duty nurse who was the mother of that same 19-year-old student. It was she who insisted on the termination of an unwanted pregnancy. On behalf of the child was sent to medical waste to fragile life is terminated before it begins. It so happened that their lives must not Melissa's mother, a sympathetic female doctor. Another nurse named Mary heard a faint squeak of the child and sounded the alarm.
The struggle for life
The case of Melissa ODEN phenomenal a favorable outcome. Pediatricians hospital Sioux city Iowa did not expect that a premature baby will survive. The baby was tormented by seizures, breathing problems and jaundice. The most favorable forecast promised developmental delays, hearing problems and vision. But the girl lived against all odds. Every day she became stronger.
Three weeks later, Melissa was transferred to another hospital. It was found that the child did not even have clothes. Caring nurses bought baby clothes, gave the child the name of Katie rose. The girl demonstrated an incredible thirst for life and were able to almost completely recover by three months of age. It's still a little behind in development when it was adopted by Ron and Linda ODEN. By the time the couple have four years of raising a girl Tammy, as adopted in infancy.
Named parents surrounded the girl care. By the age of five, Melissa had been perfectly healthy. Ron and Linda kept in touch with a caring nurse Mary, who, in fact, rescued the girl after an abortion. Later, Melissa started to make friends with the nurse. This relationship lasted for decades and meant a lot to both. After all, back in 1977 that Mary was caring for a premature baby.
Parents never hid from my children the fact of adoption. Due to the small difference in age, the girls felt like real sisters. Sometimes between them flashed children's quarrels. In one of those moments Melissa learned the terrible circumstances of his birth. For 14-year-old the phrase "Your parents never wanted you" is equivalent to the explosion of the atomic bomb. Familiar world collapsed in an instant.
A difficult teenager
No wonder they say that ignorance may be better than knowledge. Melissa felt a storm of emotions and feelings towards the biological mother. It was fear, anger and even blame for the phenomenal resilience she showed in the first moments of life. 14-year-old was not under force to cope with a heavy emotional load.
Melissa began to suffer from bulimia, addicted to alcohol and sex. The idea that she survived against the wishes of the biological parents, would not let her rest. Parents had no idea about the emotional problems of adopted daughter. The girl withdrew, became secretive.
Over time, Melissa managed to cope with the psychological shock. However, she found the strength to continue studying and enrolled at the University of South Dakota to study political science. The second time fate has played a cruel joke. It was later revealed that the biological mother at the time was studying at the same University. A grandmother that insisted on the abortion, he became a teacher at the school. As a student, Melissa ODEN didn't know it.
The search for the origins of
Time heals not all. Thoughts of the past haunted, day in and day out in pursuit of the 19-year-old student. Melissa overcame his fear and began searching for biological parents. The adoption papers were not given any information. So the girl went to the hospital in Sioux city to study in detail the archival record. All day she was flipping through old telephone directories, Newspapers and yearbooks. She searched for any hint about his origins.
Despite pursuing its failures, Melissa continued the search for many years. Once, flipping through the University's Yearbook, she drew attention to the female teacher. Similar facial features made me think about a related link. In that time, Melissa had no idea about the fatal part of the grandmother in her life. The girl decided to send her a letter in which he wrote about the alleged relationship. Melissa received a response from grandfather.He said that her birth was unwanted, pointed to the futility of the search. Grandpa explained that there will be able to help Melissa find the biological mother. Relationships in the family finally disintegrated and they for many years did not communicate with her daughter. It turned out that the birth Melissa was the main reason for exclusion. Grandparents refused to unborn granddaughter and lost her daughter.
The long-awaited answers
For some time Melissa ODEN left the search. In her life there were relationships that grew into love. Ryan proposed to her and Melissa got their own home and family. Now they have two daughters. The eldest of them was born in the same hospital as Melissa.
Melissa with her husband
Biological relatives made contact. Melissa turned 36 years old when she received a letter from a cousin. He told the story of her birth and everything fell into place. Now Melissa ODEN were the answers to the questions.
The biological mother, being a University student, fond of sports. Many athletes is irregular menstrual cycle. For this reason, the girl was not aware of the pregnancy. Her parents opposed, when the "interesting position" daughter became apparent. Grandparents were against early marriage. Despite the protests of the daughter they demanded to do a saline abortion.
The adoption and reconciliation
Melissa learned that for many years was mistaken, considering that the biological mother never wanted a child. In fact, the girl just couldn't handle the pressure of the parents. Her sister tried to help. She came to the hospital, but the nurse said it's too late.
Melissa was shocked to hear the details of his birth. She regretted that so many years in vain angry at the mother. Then Melissa became interested in how the foster parents could adopt the child without the consent of the biological mother. It was obvious that someone forged the signature.Melissa's own child
17 years of searching ended with a happy reunion with their biological relatives. Soon she received the first letter from his mother. The correspondence lasted for three years until the women decided to meet. Both have gone through mixed feelings and emotions. The first moments of the meeting passed without words. Embracing, mother and adult daughter silently crying.
Later mother Melissa told me that all his life he experienced a sense of guilt towards the unborn child. She knew that her daughter survived and grew in foster care. Melissa did not blame the biological mother. She was sorry that she had to endure. She also forgave my grandmother and biological father. She failed to meet her grandmother, because she was already dead. Mom told her that later gave birth to two daughters, who now have Melissa half-sisters.
Often insoluble problem gives life meaning, becoming a kind of driving time. A happy solution of difficult questions brings to life changes. Today Melissa maintains relationships with long-lost relatives. Already acquainted with one of the sisters, and not far off a meeting with another.
She has written and produced a biography in which he told about his experiences. Many readers responded briskly, telling the author their stories. Melissa's case was not isolated. From time to time the doctors and nursed back to life of unwanted children, whose mothers decided to terminate the pregnancy.
Melissa ODEN was the founder of the community, which unites people with a similar birth story. Another community has joined 223 people. Most of them are American. Melissa learned to forgive others. She shares important experiences with people, explaining that forgiveness makes a person free from mental pain.