Marry your mom: the story of an unusual family from CaliforniaBy Pictolic https://pictolic.com/en/article/marry-your-mom-the-story-of-an-unusual-family-from-california
Sometimes people's life paths are so amazing that we even refuse to believe that such a thing can happen. But the story of Phyllis Irwin and Lillian Faderman - mother and daughter and at the same time a married couple - is completely real.
And they also have a son Avrom… How is this possible? Read in our material.
The love story of these two women dates back to 1971. It was then that California State University professor Lillian Faderman turned to her colleague, Director of Studies Phyllis Irwin, to discuss the idea of a new course. There was a sympathy between them, which soon grew into something more… But then same-sex relationships were condemned by society and were even criminally punishable. The law against sodomy in California was repealed only in 1975 — the following year the decision came into force.
In 1974, the couple decided to have a child. To do this, Lillian, who was 11 years younger than her partner, turned to a clinic engaged in reproductive medicine. At that time, artificial insemination was not treated as simply as it is now — the doctor was very surprised when he found out that the patient did not have a husband, and began to ask questions.
As a result, the doctor agreed to perform artificial insemination, and soon the woman was carrying a child with Phyllis under her heart. At first everything was fine. Son Avrom grew up to the delight of mothers and did not give them much trouble. But soon the women realized that serious problems could await them in the future. From a legal point of view, Phyllis was a stranger to Avrom, and if the child got sick, she would not even be able to bring him to the hospital, pick him up from kindergarten or school.
After thinking about how to solve this problem, the women in love came to the conclusion that the only loophole in the legislation is the law that existed in California, allowing adults to adopt each other if the age difference between them is at least ten years.
This was the only way they could become legitimate relatives - mother and daughter, and Avrom - their son and grandson. The same legend was already used by the grown-up boy when meeting other children — he said that Phyllis was his grandmother, even though at home he called her "Phyllis's mom."
In 2008, same-sex marriage was legalized in California, and the very next day after the adoption of the law, Lillian and Phyllis officially signed. But soon they were waiting for bad news: it turns out that their marriage was not recognized as valid, since they did not annul the previously legalized adoption. The couple's lawyer noticed that in many other states they could even be put on trial for incest. The second attempt at marriage took place already in 2015 after the annulment of adoption and the adoption of the same-sex marriage law throughout the United States.
When the couple finally got married, Avrom, in fact, became nothing to Phyllis again. And then the man himself asked the "second mother" to adopt him.
An unusual love story was shared by Lillian Faderman herself in her autobiographical book "Naked in the Promised Land". As you can see, even the condemnation of society and the expectation of half a century is not a problem for lovers who have decided to be together.
We have already told you about another married couple whose story also deserves attention. 30-year-old Jo Turner (Jo Turner) and 25-year-old Scott Turner (Scott Turner) spent a little more than a year in marriage until they realized that both ... are homosexual.