"Russia is outside the law. The bombing will begin in 5 minutes": this and other Reagan jokes

On August 11, 1984, President Ronald Reagan made a joke while preparing for the traditional Saturday radio address to Americans suddenly. While checking the microphone, he suddenly said: "My fellow Americans, I am glad to inform you today that I have signed a decree declaring Russia outlawed for all time. The bombardment will begin in five minutes."

The joke, uttered at the height of the Cold War, became public and caused a great resonance. But this was not the only case when Reagan publicly joked in the direction of the Soviet Union. Moreover, he had a hobby: he collected jokes.

Reagan often warmed up his audience with Soviet jokes. Reagan (an actor by his first profession) was an excellent storyteller. Here are a few of them.

A man is walking around Moscow at night. A Soviet soldier ordered him to stop. But he ran, and the soldier shot him. Another soldier asked him, " Why did you do that?" "Curfew," the shooter replies. – But it's not curfew time yet. – I know. This is my friend. And I know where he lives. He wouldn't have made it anyway.

The story is about three dogs: an American dog, a Polish dog and a Russian dog. They met, and an American dog tells how things are in her country: - You know, if you bark long enough, someone will definitely bring and give you meat. – What is meat? - the Polish dog asks (the audience laughs) - What is barking? - asks the Russian dog (the audience laughs and applauds).

Fidel Castro speaks at a large rally. He performs for a long time. And suddenly he hears a voice in the crowd: "Nuts, popcorn, seeds." He continues to perform, and again the voice: "Nuts, popcorn, seeds." And when this happens for the fourth time, he stops speaking and says: "Next time I'll find out who's saying this and kick him so hard that he'll end up in Miami." And then the whole crowd chorused: "Nuts, popcorn, seeds."

Reagan tells a joke in front of a large audience. To be understood, he has to give a small reference: in the Soviet Union, unlike other countries of the world, you can't go to a car dealership and buy a car — you need to sign up in a queue and wait ten years.

"One person completed all the paperwork," Reagan begins his miniature.- The seller tells him: come for your car in ten years. The buyer asks: in the morning or after lunch? The audience laughs. Reagan continues: - A whole ten years to wait, what's the difference? - the seller is surprised. - You see— - the buyer answers— - the plumber will come in the morning. (The audience burst out laughing).

The Bolshevik commissar arrives at the collective farm, takes the first worker he comes across and asks — - What is the harvest? - Oh! The harvest is never better. — And how many potatoes have you collected? - Oh! Comrade Commissar, if we put all the potatoes in one pile, we will get all the way to God. — This is the Soviet Union-the commissar cuts him off sternly — there is no God here. "All right —" the worker replies. — If there is no God, there are no potatoes. (laughter in the audience, applause).

Reagan is speaking to a large audience at the White House. At the end of the speech, he says: I told this story to Mikhail Gorbachev. He was laughing.

We have freedom of speech — "the American says —" I can go into the Oval Office of the White House, knock on the table and say: "Mr. President, I don't like the way you run America! — - Russian man: "I can do that too. I can come to the Kremlin to the General Secretary of the Central Committee of the CPSU and say: "Comrade General Secretary, I don't like the way President Reagan runs his country."